The Senior Push & New Year Real Talk

Kiara (00:07)
and I'm Kiara.

Tanesha (00:09)
and you're now entering the sister chat. Welcome to Main Event Mamas.

Kiara (00:13)
Yes, welcome back. I mean, it's been a minute since we were supposed to be back. I mean, I know we came back a couple of times, but like, legit, like we're back back this time. Season two in full effect. I always wanted to say that.

Tanesha (00:27)
Yeah.

Wow, this is season two. Oh my goodness. I don't know why I to do this.

Kiara (00:30)
Season two, yeah. I didn't forget about that

season one soundtrack. I'm still working through a few logistics about how to get it to y'all, but you know, it'll be back with season two soon. But yeah, that soundtrack coming. And I guess, you know, we got a lot to talk about today as usual.

We had some experiences during the break. It's the new year, 2026. And Dear Jesus.

Tanesha (00:57)
Yes. And both are kids are seniors.

Both on two different projectories.

Kiara (01:07)
Trajectories? Trajectories. Yeah, they are. And, you know, it's okay. Everybody has different opportunities and choices. The girl child almost got murdered today by me because she left her coat in the house and it proceeded. It's a long story. Don't even.

Tanesha (01:10)
So you actually, yes, yes, yes,

you know what it's not even that cuz all kids think they don't need to wear the coats so like oh look it's a little bit of fluff and you're like

Kiara (01:27)
Yeah, but let you,

and I'm have to stop everything. That's not cool. Anyway, before we get into that, this is a reminder.

subscribe. Like if you have reached this point in the video and you want to hear where we're about to go because you know, this is our first live episode back. Life episode back. Life adulting, parenting, life episode back in 2026. Then this is your moment. You want to hit that subscribe button on any platform that you're currently listening or watching us on, whether that's YouTube or Apple Podcasts or Spotify or

Tanesha (01:45)
that life ⁓

Kiara (02:07)
The other ones I can't remember. Pocket Podcasts, Audible, YouTube.

music, you know. Yeah, this will be fun at the end when she got to recite this because she looked hella confused. And with that, let's get started on the episode. Yep, she's like, what? Well, let's get started on the episode. So how was your break? Did you get some rest during this quote-unquote rest time? Or was it just parenting in a different zip code? I mean, I like this one.

Tanesha (02:24)
I was like, I said, wait, what's happening? What? ⁓ okay.

I mean, what rest? Where was I supposed to... There's no rest for the weary. I'm not saying I'm weary, but I'm just saying, like, what rest? It was chaotic times 10 because their structure of the day has been jolted.

Kiara (02:47)
Mm-hmm

Wasn't it though?

Yes, this is why I'm for year-round

school. I want to tell you that. This is why I'm for year-round school. And I find it very unfair that by the time I move to a location that has year-round school, it doesn't apply for teenagers.

Tanesha (03:13)
Yeah, I mean listen, I appreciated spending time with them and you know, working. Because everybody was spending money at that time, so you know, I was getting money, that was great. But at some point, there's a limit that you can handle all day.

Just chaos especially when your middle child is the one who likes to cause most of the chaos in the house Just because he can and then he looks at you with a smile like I don't know who did that I didn't I don't know like I guess that he smelt and I was like whoa Dude, he was like what who was that? I didn't wasn't me. I didn't do anything and he ran out and I was like In the shower

Kiara (03:44)
That's, wow.

being stinky? I mean, then he did do something.

He was stinkin'. That's crazy.

Tanesha (04:08)
Yeah, I was like,

said shower immediately. He goes, but it wasn't me. I didn't do it. didn't do it. I'm like, so that was the chaos that I dealt with most of them. Two weeks, two full weeks that they were off.

Kiara (04:20)
Yeah, anywhere recovering from being sick. Bless you.

Tanesha (04:24)
Excuse me, thank you. ⁓ So, yeah, how was yours? You have two less children than me.

Kiara (04:32)
Yes, and ⁓ it was fine. mean, you know, they're also independent for the most part, so they leave me alone, which is great. I got a lot of reading done. I got job now. That's different.

So that's exciting. Definitely needed one so badly. So shout out to the Lord for that one. I appreciated it. But yeah, now we're back to being at zero again, which is a very confusing situation if you were to ask me. Like, what did I spend this money on except trying to survive? I don't, you know, I did do Christmas, but it wasn't a particularly expensive Christmas. So I'm like, listen.

We need bigger budgets in life, that's what I feel. feel like things need to cost less right now because right now I feel like that's what's eating up the budgets. But the other half of my vacation, insanity really. Like I was like, stop, get out of my pocket. ⁓

Tanesha (05:24)
the cost is crazy. Yes. Yes. Just to get some bread

and milk eggs, it cost me like 20-some dollars. That's kind of crazy.

Kiara (05:34)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah. Wish I had a little support on that, but here we are. Here we are. Going broke for eggs and bread. But if you're listening to this, then you're probably also going broke from that. So that's not even a topic today. So on the other part of my vacation was helping my senior.

with his applications. like here in North Carolina, they have this common application, which is kind of cool because you fill out a ton of applications by doing this one form. However, it is very invasive. So similar to the FAFSA in that like, you know, obviously our information as a family has to go in there. His information has to go in there. Then he has to know which particular colleges he wants to apply to.

He thought we had thought we had got through all that and then we got to the essay part. Now this is where we're going to spend the time today is on this essay situation because it was a lot. I mean, I was sitting there.

I remember, I was reminding him, like a good mom, because I was like, listen, I really want you out of my house come fall. So I don't want you sitting here like, la la la la. I don't know what the deadlines are. know, kids these days, they have no sense of like, urgency for that. And I think, I don't know what that is, because I felt like I had my deadlines down. My mom didn't tell me nothing. I knew everything. That's true.

Tanesha (06:55)
Well, also it was a different time back then.

We wanted to leave. ⁓

Kiara (06:59)
I know we keep saying this,

this is the failure of being the kind of parent your kids want to be around. Is there like, I could stay here forever. And I'm like about that. Like, we would like to be naked people again. Like we would like to be grown folks and we can't do that with you guys here. That's why, you know, you are the age you are so that you can go while we still look good like that. You know what saying? I don't...

Tanesha (07:10)
Not really.

Right, right. Ooh, not

while we still look good. You're gonna always look good. You're gonna just keep working it out. I'm just saying. Build that body strength.

Kiara (07:24)
Oh, thank you. You know what saying? We are. But you know what saying? You know,

you know, we're working on it. But at the end of the day, yeah, I know. But he got to go for that to be possible. And that's not to say nothing. We got his sister, too. So that's another.

Tanesha (07:32)
But you'll be there by that time, that's what I'm

Yeah, but it's not

like you are about to do that the moment he leaves you still got one more

Kiara (07:43)
Maybe

we'll step over to go hang out Grandma. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. We might need a party. regardless. But these deadlines, it got to a situation where I kept reminding him about these deadlines and I'm like, do you remember? Do you remember? And he goes, yeah, speaking of which, today is a reminder that I need to go, I think the deadline's tomorrow. So he better have had his teacher do the thing.

Tanesha (07:47)
I don't think that would work very well.

Mmm.

Kiara (08:11)
because he needs, that's the other part of the application. So it was the essay and then he needed the recommendation from his teacher. And I was like, you need to build in time for that so you know, because there is no late registration for the school that you want to go to. Like this is the late registration. So you need to like be prepared, which is the other. Yeah, I forgot that right now because again, it's not my job. Are you okay? This is at.

Tanesha (08:28)
my goodness. Something's happening. No, something's happening to me right now while you're talking. Like, I'm dripping. I'm literally dripping.

Kiara (08:39)
28 hours up, like I was trying to tell you. Your body's on one. I keep trying to tell you. If you're out there, you must take proper rest, you must sleep, you must hydrate, you must eat, or you're be burning both ends at the same time.

Tanesha (08:58)
here. You keep

talking. I'm just gonna put myself on mute so I can just blow my nose, cuz this is a little crazy. I don't know what's going on. I just had to go out though. Hey, you do that. You do that.

Kiara (09:04)
going on and I'm gonna tell the people why you go ahead get that situated. What is

going on is like I said you must take proper rest. This is one of the lessons that we've been trying to...

have at this time is that you need to relax, you need to make sure you're getting proper sleep, make sure you're eating, you make sure you're hydrating, so that your body is ready to tackle the insanity of our days. If you are moms like us, or just humans, alive trying to make it, then you know, like, it's hard to try to get in there and get all your things done. So take your vitamins, say your prayers, and get some sleep. Sleep is most important, which is why I'm currently saying this, because she didn't, which is why I'm...

really leaning in on the sleep aspect while we sit here and watch her marinate. Are you doing well yet? Are you ready come back? No? No? Looks like we're still, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool, cool. And with that.

Tanesha (10:00)
I would like to say I did get four hours of sleep. I just didn't get any. Anyway.

Kiara (10:06)
Did you say four? Listen, I am evil with four hours of sleep. Yeah, no, I'm evil. Four hours of sleep, you better get away from me until I get at least two. You know why? Because your system is running on an inflamed state. We're going to get a doctor join us one of these days because I promise you, I didn't get that out of nowhere. When you sleep like that, you put your body in a quarter zone, kind of like heated.

Tanesha (10:09)
here I did I got four hours sleep I did my mom's ⁓ well right now she has my allergies acting ridiculous

Mmm.

Kiara (10:35)
like fight or flight like situation and so you don't get proper rest and so your system is working at overdrive. I'm gonna go ahead and give you some resources while y'all at home thinking I'm making this up, I'm not. Anyhow, back to the college situation.

Tanesha (10:49)
Anyhow,

yes, so he was supposed to get a teacher's recommendation and that is due today or that was due tomorrow, yesterday.

Kiara (10:57)
The application to the school, the deadline for the school application is mañana or tomorrow. So today I'm about to pause for a minute and go call him and make sure he does that, so hold. Now you can hang out with them for a moment while I call the child. Yep, yep.

Tanesha (11:10)
Okay.

or may not, no, he is a singer, but there's a lot of things happening there where...

feel like they're pushing him out more and talk more about it later but he has to take additional classes that I just found out last week. He could have been doing this during the whole vacation. You know, I remember back then when we used to have winter break packets that we had homework to do during the winter break. They could have did that. They could have told me before, they could have called me before winter break to tell me that he had.

Was I doing good? I think I was doing good.

Kiara (13:17)
I thought you did great.

No, the problem was I had to remind my child that I was like, this was an urgent task on Monday and Tuesday. It is now Wednesday. So he said the person wasn't in. And I said, this is why we only have, we don't do one person. We do multiple because you need someone to do it. And you're a tick, tick, tick on the time. And I don't know what that looks like for you. Like you're an excellent candidate, but not being able to take care of time deadlines, that's a slight problem. That could put you in a big, yeah.

Tanesha (13:25)
Did he do it?

Yes, we do multiple.

especially

in the field he wants to go into.

Kiara (13:48)
Also, you're not about to sit at my house and do nothing. You know how that works. Looks like you'd be out here working at Dunkin' Donuts or something. don't know. Anyhow. This is part of the process, I feel like, is that, like, as a parent, it's very stressful. To like...

go into this push of like, are you done with all your applications and all your things and all of your that? Because I remember this time in my life and I remember very much being like on top of it because I didn't want to have to stay home another year. And so I was. Why do you look like that?

Tanesha (14:23)
See, I don't remember doing this. No, no, I didn't. mean, I guess this is also the difference between trying to go to a four-year college or university versus going to community college because I didn't have to write no essays. Granted, when I got older, I did have doctors. I had at least two doctors that I worked with write me recommendations to try to get into the vet tech program just to add the extra pop. They didn't ask for it, but I was like, here you go, this is going to be part of my application. Here you go.

Kiara (14:37)
Yeah.

See that

Tanesha (14:53)
so they can understand that I shouldn't, you know, you didn't ask for it, but

Kiara (14:53)
was It's a passion, Smart.

Tanesha (14:59)
I got it for you, here you go. And even read their recommendations, I was like, I didn't expect y'all to do all that, y'all said all that about me, anyway. But I had multiple people do it.

Kiara (15:07)
Yeah, mine were like that too.

They were like, she is da da da da. I was like, ooh, could you have told me? That's why you got to give people their flowers, you know, because you don't hear these things as you're like going through things. Like my husband was like, you know, we don't want to give you the big head. And I was like, I don't think that's the problem. I think sometimes it's really important to give you your flowers as you're on the come up because you may not notice these things about yourself. So I think it's a good idea to do that. But I want to talk a little bit about this common app because.

Tanesha (15:35)
Speaking

of... Okay, what can I just do as one little thing? Speaking of, moving someone flowers. Have you seen how chocolate-dropped she is? Thanks. Okay.

Kiara (15:37)
What? Speaking of what?

my sister, who I love, who is always beautiful, so she has to stop doing this to me and put me on the spot. Anyhow.

We're gonna call her like Caramel. I'm working on it. I know, but I'm thinking like Caramel, yeah, Mocha. I'm still working on it. I'll workshop some names and come back to you. Salted Caramel? You wanna be macchiato?

Tanesha (15:57)
I'm giving you

Kiara (16:13)
You wanna be my key auto? Why are you like this? Anyhow, let's talk about this common application. So as I was helping him do this, yeah, yeah, yeah, let me tell you, I'll break it all down for you. So he comes in here and he goes, hey, need your help with something. And I'm like, well, I was playing the sims, so I was trying not to do anything. But he came in here and he showed me his laptop and then we sat down.

And I'm like explaining how to fill these things out. He's like, what does this mean? What does that mean? And I was like, I was talking about Sims. And now I'm sitting here pausing and trying to figure out your life, your life story and your aspirations for the future. And so I sit here and I'm like, OK, I'm helping him fill it out. And we get to this good place. And then they start asking about the family dynamic and all, like how many people live in your house, the plans for all your kids. Wait till you see some of these. Like, I think I'm making this up. They're like, which one of how many of your kids will be in school in a 20, 20,

2027 school year. I don't know.

Tanesha (17:12)
We don't know the project of her right now. Thank you.

Kiara (17:14)
Hard to say. I have prayers,

you know, but I don't know, like, what we're gonna go here. And it felt really just kind of like, arresting when you think about this, because I'm like, I don't know, like, I don't have the answer for what could be happening in the future. And so I'm trying to help him do this, and we are laughing together out of just sheer discomfort. Like, how much money do we make? Well, at the time, mom had no job, so hold that thought. A lot less.

than you think. Didn't necessarily want to tell him that, but here I am filling out the application with him. There are some benefits to it though. You do get to like funding.

Tanesha (17:52)
This is when your kids start learning all

your business and you be like, you're not supposed to know that.

Kiara (17:57)
Yes, I mean, does dad have other kids? Like, do you have like... Yeah, they want to know how many siblings live in your house. They have specific questions for each parent. Like, it was crazy work.

Tanesha (18:02)
Wait, is that what they ask?

That would have been

funny trying to... aren't our age trying to answer that? Yep, he does. He got like five, six.

Kiara (18:17)
Which, I mean,

like, that's crazy. I don't think I did that. I think when I was filling my application, I only filled it out for my mom. And I didn't have a common application. So it wasn't as like, I had to do my best guess. Me too, but I had to do best guesses. I don't know how many kids you got out there. That's a good question. That's you, between you and, you know, 24 and me. don't.

Tanesha (18:28)
I remember on fast but I had to add that to my fast but I remember that.

That's crazy work

to ask if your father has other kids besides you. ⁓

Kiara (18:45)
Yeah. Is there anybody else you support in the house? I mean, these are questions they ask, you know, like when you're doing Medicaid and stuff like that to see how much aid

you can get. And then there was the financial aid aspect, like who will be paying for your college? And I'm like, it better be you because based on this new form, the new amount of money that we have going on now, it's not looking good for any of us. But it was really arresting and kind of stressful. And my poor kid was just like...

This is a lot, but I wanted him to fill in as much as he could because I'm like, this is about taking responsibility. And so I wanted to kind of be the calm and the storm of asking all this information because this is new to them, right? Like I got to fill out all this information. And then we get to the essay. Now, I don't know why he thought there wasn't going to be no essay because, you know, you did the common application, but there definitely is an essay portion. And the essay portion is strangely only 650 words.

which I was like, I remember ours being like 800 or something. Like I felt like mine was longer, but it also could have been because I did the applications directly to the school. So maybe there was like a specific ones for each school, but it was like 650 words. And then they give you these three prompts of like, what type of essays you wanna write. Now you have your traditional, why do you wanna go to college type essays.

Tanesha (19:42)
Well that's good.

Kiara (20:11)
Why do you want to be a success? Your greatest inspiration type of essays. And then they have this interesting prompt that I was like, of course he picks this one, which is like, what is the one thing that you can get lost in?

Tanesha (20:25)
Ooh, but that's a good one though. ⁓

Kiara (20:27)
And yeah,

it was, I mean, what's the one thing you can get lost in and like, why essentially, something like that. And I'm like, and you have to describe that to in your essay. So the thing that you can get lost in for hours, why, and like, you want to explore that topic. So of course, my wonderfully artistic creative child picks that one, you know. And I was like, okay, now this is where you run into like,

the generational changes. He, he, I, we stopped there and I said, okay, you need to write this essay. And I move on and he comes back to me like two hours later and he hands me his laptop and he wrote it in the little square box. And I was like, I love you, but like, no. I was like, take it out of the square box because it needs to be a separate thing. But this generation has done so much on the computer. Bless you.

Tanesha (20:58)
Okay.

Excuse

me.

Kiara (21:26)
They've done

so much on the computer that they don't know,

Tanesha (21:29)
They don't know how what we did because they don't need them to write on paper anymore.

Kiara (21:31)
Right.

Right, but you also don't assume that it's a separate entry, which it kind of is though, right? Like it's part of your application. I'm sure it's part of the form that you have and that you send, submit to schools, but it should still be written as a separate thing. So then I take it out, I was like, get it out the box and send it to me. Now this is where I'm sure he felt some kind of way about having a mom and I like me, cause I was like, I was a journalism major. Like I make my living writing and reading and telling stories and drafting stuff and so.

Tanesha (21:43)
Yeah.

Kiara (22:03)
He's like, can you help me? And I look at him and I was like, sure. Which I'm excited he asked, but I immediately thought, God, he's gonna be nervous trying to show me this. And so I wanted to like give him a sense of encouragement, but I ain't gonna lie, that first draft, I did not like it.

Tanesha (22:21)
because he was just writing just to get it done.

Kiara (22:23)
Yes, which I told them this is not how you do those essays. These essays have to mean something to you. It's not about being vague. It's about being specific and being really excited about like what you're doing so that you can convey that passion. So if you're out there writing these things or your kids are, this is the lesson. It has to mean something to you. You can't just be like, yeah, ⁓ I can get lost reading a book. Yep, that's basically it. I was like, that's not 650 words.

worth of an essay, you know. But he writes this excellent essay eventually. But first we just had to get there. That was the thing. We just had to get there at first. And so I, gave me the first draft. I edited it. I sent it back to him. It took him about a good week to come back to me with a new version. And by the time we finished, it was very good. It was very, very good.

Tanesha (23:17)
Well that's

good, that means he gave it

Kiara (23:20)
Yes.

But also, like, what are you teaching these kids is what I thought about school. I was like, my first lesson was do not do it like this. But.

It really challenged him.

It challenged him because it's, you know, it's not like the prompts they used to give you in school and the tests they give you, right? And then we had to go look back at all his like grades and stuff. So I had to go look back at all his AP test scores, which I found out he's exceptional test taker. Mr. Six classes that he doesn't have to take in college. But.

All those things didn't exist when we were growing up. I was like, I never even looked to find out if I passed my AP exams. I had no idea. And still to this day, no clue. And I was like, how do I find out? I wonder. But it was a long time ago. I don't think you can. And just so you know, if any of you out there, if you...

Tanesha (24:13)
It

should be on your transcripts. Shouldn't it?

Kiara (24:16)
I think it's on the College Board, Trans- remember those were from like College Board, they weren't necessarily from your school. So I have no idea. So I reached-

Tanesha (24:25)
But it

still should be on your high school transcript because you took those classes in school.

Kiara (24:30)
Yes, you took

the classes, but what you received on the test may not be there, from my understanding. Not that I, I mean, I don't remember. I'll check, but I don't think so. I don't think it was there. And because you took the classes, and that's representative of the school, but the tests were scored by College Board. So, no idea. Anyway, I was curious. And in case you're out there, you want to know, I reached out to College Board. But if you graduated or did these tests before 2005,

your scores are not available. You're welcome to try it again, essentially.

Tanesha (25:02)
That means in other words,

they did not save it.

Kiara (25:07)
No, in fact they did not. So that was a lesson I learned. But anyway. So I want to talk about some of these questions here. Because the se- we're also in like, technically while we're in the second semester in school, they're wrapping up their finals this week and next week. So we technically are at the end of for first semester and into second semester. So I'd love to ask you, because you mentioned that your son's on a different trajectory, how stressed is your house about this? Like,

second semester, particularly for him.

Tanesha (25:41)
Well, like I was saying before, was...

It's stressful in a way that they are now like pushing him to take these classes that he missed so he can stay on the path to graduate this year. And for him, it feels like it got thrown out of him at him at left field. Now, granted, not saying this wasn't talked about before we kind of had this conversation, but I assumed it didn't happen yet.

because he didn't tell me nothing about any ⁓ paperwork, logins, or anything of that nature. All we did was see on his schedule that he needed to be there after school on certain days for these classes. Wasn't like, hey, hey mom, here's a follow up, da da da, for my conversation. I handed him all the things and the class work needs to be done by this set time. I didn't find nothing about this until last week.

Kiara (26:42)
crazy.

Tanesha (26:44)
So now speaking with him about it, it's like, this is moving too fast. They're trying to get me to do way too much, and I'm just trying to manage the classes I have right now. To the point where my son was like, I'm OK not graduating into next year, because I feel like I should, I don't want to be rushed. So for me as a parent, it's one of those like, well, do you honor your son's wishes, or do you because you know he struggles?

help them push him out in essence so he can have a break and a pause because he does want to go to college but he told me he wants a pause. He leaves a year in between high school and college and I understand that because I kind of regret if y'all listen back to our episode last year I kind of regret going straight into college right after high school because it just felt like it was what you do. You leave high school and then you go straight to college. I wasn't ready to go straight to college. ⁓

I was, I use that as freedom. That was not what it was supposed to be for. So, for me, it is a little stressful because the deadline is, I know, but it was freedom for you in a different way. For me, I think, like, I like to learn. I like to learn. But not necessarily like school.

Kiara (27:53)
I mean, it was freedom for me too, though.

Yes.

That's fair. Some people don't. I love it. I could be there all day, every day. Okay, I'm telling lies. I can't be there all day, every day.

Tanesha (28:15)
I I can be in school.

Oh, I thought I was gonna say, girl, what are you talking about? I mean, yes, she likes her. But you also, you're someone who likes to just get it done. Okay, are we done? Let's go. Let's keep moving. If I can't keep going, then why are we stopping? What's going on? Me. So I guess he kinda inherited it from me, as I'm saying here, talking this out loud. That is like, why y'all stressing me out? But like I said, for them to wait a week to didn't tell me.

Kiara (28:19)
No, I can't.

Right.

Yeah.

Tanesha (28:45)
hey, by the way, he has three courses. And then they go, no, actually he has four courses that he needs to complete. But because we can't technically give him the four, we will give him the extra credit for the other three classes for him to be to graduate this year. And I think it's also foreign for some people when they're like, you don't care if he graduates this year? No, because I'd rather him understand the work and understand what he's doing.

Kiara (28:50)
Not four.

Tanesha (29:11)
than being rushed through, don't know nothing, get a high school diploma and he's still like, and then you want him to go to college so he can struggle more? That doesn't make any sense. I'd rather him understand the concepts and grasp it and then feel confident going, I can go to school. Cause let's say, you know, if we do these certain things, I'm like, you may only have one class that you gotta take and then you can still work and you can still do everything else.

be done. So I think for me, I this is what the difference is because it's just like, how do you manage your teenager who has learned disabilities and trying to honor what he's saying, but also kind of like, I'm your mom, I need you to kind of like push a little harder because I do want your expectations to be up here versus being, oh, I'm okay coasting right here. No, I want you to push yourself, but I also don't want you to push yourself too much where

You're just like dreading it. Does that make sense?

Kiara (30:15)
Right.

Yeah. I mean, I definitely have. I mean, I will say my son is very he was very stressed first semester. ⁓ It has been a little stress knowing like he had to go back and do his finals. ⁓ There's I mean, if I had to rank his dress, I would say he probably was at a seven, eight. He was not feeling it. ⁓ No, he's a very chill kid. He's very chill. He's not going to be like stressed about anything. He does not handle stress well.

Tanesha (30:36)
Which is not, which is normally not like him.

Kiara (30:45)
So if you stress him out, he's not talking to you. It's like, I'm not dealing with you. But I think this opens up the avenue about getting realistic. So I had to get realistic with him about the things that you're choosing. So I did choose a lot of his classes for the first semester, and I did push him. I put him in calculus, and I put him in some of these classes. I'm sure he's like, what the F?

My mother's up too. But I did it on purpose because that kid is just so smart that I didn't want him to take like, you know, like he was already on that trajectory to get to calculus and knowing that he's interested in computer science, like that makes perfect sense.

When I was doing a common application and looking at the schools he wants to go to and looking at how applicants tend to rank up to go to those schools, that was one of the things I had to pay attention to is like, what classes did they think to get there? And I think a lot of parents, we don't think about that. We're like, what? But there are specific classes you have to take to make you a more attractive candidate. Similarly, when we look for jobs and there are certain creditations that make you be like, I like this person for this. Or things that you might see on their resume that make them a check.

Tanesha (31:48)
and then.

Kiara (31:57)
for you for someone to move on to the interview process. But it's very similarly in school. And I remember, I think it's just different in a cultural sense, because I remember going in Georgia and the area that we were in was very affluent. Everybody was going to college. Everybody was headed that way. There was no ifs, ands, or buts.

And so we as parents knew what trajectory our kids were going to go on from the time they got into the school until the time that they were going to finish. And even when we moved to North Carolina, I made sure that was consistent, that his classes continued. Now, did I see that it stressed him out? Yes. Did I feel awful? Mm-hmm. I ain't gonna lie. I felt a little bad, especially when he was at that table for like six hours, seven, eight hours doing homework and I'm going to bed. Like, I felt really bad. But at the same time...

I know his aptitude, right? And I know that if he's bored, he's checking out. So I had to keep reinforcing to him, like, listen.

I understand this sucks, but second semester I intentionally tried to make sure like it was more, huh, like it's your last, you could sail through the last semester of high school. You don't have to push yourself too hard. You're still gonna have fun, you're still gonna be learning stuff, but it won't be this rigorous program where you're like losing your mind for the reason that you're talking about. Because I do want him to go to college in the fall, but want to make sure that he is not feeling overwhelmed.

because you didn't really get a break from the intensity from your second half of this year to going to college, which is naturally just going to be intense. But I think it also begs the question, like,

Is that the right path for you? Like, we talk a lot about what the first year of college feels like or might look like, and I like to give him examples about my life and I'm like, yeah, I lost my crap the first year because suddenly you're a big fish in a small pond. Or I'm sorry, you were a big fish in a small pond before, but now you're a small fish in a big pond and that pond is full of big sharks and stuff and you're trying to figure out where you rank up and you're no longer or you may no longer, I'm not saying he wouldn't be, but

you may no longer be at the top 10 % of your class because everybody in that class is smart.

Whereas you don't really have that control over your current, your environment that way. Whereas at college, they make it that way. They want it to be very competitive, the school base. So we talk a lot about like what that looks like from a perspective of what your first year will look like. Like it will be stressful and it will be some days that you're like questioning, why'd you do this? But I think it's important to be realistic about their expectations because if you can't handle high school, then what do you think this college is gonna feel like?

Because sometimes I think people think it's like totally different. I still had to take a lot of classes that I didn't want to take. They were harder in some cases. They required you to take much more of an active role. They required you to be much more responsible. So if you were somebody where your mama was helping you make sure you kept up with your deadlines, that's not what you have while you're in college. It's like, oh, my teacher said this is due next week. And that was it.

Tanesha (35:07)
And that was my problem. I had no

accountability partner. As in my teachers being my accountability partner. so this was due yesterday. What you doing? What happened? You'd be like, ⁓ well you know what? Right, right, it's like, yes, we're gonna get that done today. You're gonna stay here at lunch, right? Yeah.

Kiara (35:10)
No structure? Right. Okay.

Mm-hmm.

right, but you no longer

have that, that's right.

Tanesha (35:29)
In college you don't have that. teachers will like, you pass or you fail, I'm still getting paid regardless if you pass or you fail in this class. And then, and what I was gonna touch on too was when you said that you were making, I remember you were like, I make their schedules. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury to make a schedule because if I did, I think I would be able to, okay, you can do this. I'm gonna put that here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are the ones who make their schedule. But, but.

Kiara (35:51)
Really?

Tanesha (35:59)
what I remember going back to like when I would make my schedule, I was able to go, well, if I actually finish all my Englishes and I still gotta take English, but what other Englishes y'all got? Because it needs to be more engaging. He is like, they don't explain that stuff to him because if he knows that he can actually, like last year, he got put into class that had poetry.

discovered he liked poetry and he was all about it and I was like he's like oh this is great English is amazing and then now you're back to regular English and it's like they're not I think they don't explain they just think and this is where it's also frustrating for me because

Kiara (36:28)
Really?

Tanesha (36:44)
just think because of how he looks he's the normal teenager he's just doing whatever and you're just like no you may have to if you give him too many options and he don't understand what's happening he'll just look at you like what okay sure ⁓ I don't know maybe like and then they just make the classes however just like

Kiara (36:55)
could be over a month.

All

Tanesha (37:06)
But even the point that they called me a week before to tell me that he has these three, four classes that are due next week is ridiculous. And then even having a teacher tell me, well, if he really works hard, he can do it. And you're like, maybe, yes.

Kiara (37:09)
That's crazy.

It is.

I mean, maybe, but knowing your kid, that's

a little unrealistic.

Tanesha (37:25)
to tell me that he, cause then also too, this is the other thing, the logging doesn't work.

We've both tried. The login does not work and I emailed somebody and they have not responded.

Kiara (37:39)
Oof.

Tanesha (37:39)
But anyway,

this is New York. This is unfortunately New York. So each state is different. So I like the fact, because I would have probably threw in a different type of science for him to shake it up a little bit. Excuse me. ⁓

Kiara (37:50)
Bless you. So let me clarify that

a little bit. Because when I say make their schedules, I mean, they give us, yeah, we approve their schedules. So when I say make their schedules, okay, I just want to make sure that was clear that I get a menu of classes that he gets to take. I just know according to like the pre-college.

Tanesha (37:57)
Don't you approve it?

I don't approve it.

Kiara (38:11)
like recommendations that we had in Georgia, you needed four years of like English, four years of math, you know what mean? Like three and a half years of science, two years of language. Like they had different like guidelines is the word I want to say. ⁓ And so by that, that's what I meant by picking out his classes like that. But no, they do give you like for math, like it'll say like, for instance, with the girl child, they were like math three, math four, like which.

technically according to what they gave her, she should be in calculus next year. And I was like, absolutely not. I was like, so I was able to like, the teachers make the recommendation and I was able to look at it or add a note and be like, no, or reach out to counselor and be like.

I think so. This is not to say we haven't gotten schedules that were still wrong, right? Because there's definitely times where, for whatever reason, they don't have enough class size, and so they move you here and there, which is how she ended up in, some of these engineering courses, which she's really good at. Like, she, her first year in drama, we didn't put her in it. They put her in it, and that girl has taken off. That's her thing. Her improv is everything, but...

Tanesha (39:02)
Right, right, right, right.

Right.

Kiara (39:25)
So I think there should be some levity, but I just wanted to be clear about what I said when I actually picked their classes that I don't actually get to because we're not allowed, but we do get the opportunity to sign off on the classes that is recommended for following here. so you don't, okay.

Tanesha (39:32)
But else.

then that's wood.

We don't because if we did, no,

because even like there was one class, just like how you said in the beginning, they do switch schedules a lot until pretty much probably by October, November, they get their final schedule and this is what it is. And sometimes that is frustrating when you are in a class and you're really like, especially for him, he got put in smaller classes ⁓ later on in ⁓ the day and he was thriving and then all of sudden randomly they switch the schedule again. And then he got put back to what his original schedule was.

Kiara (39:48)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Tanesha (40:09)
was like, they make too much noise. I do not understand what's happening. I did it and it threw him off. And even the teachers are like, I think he has the stuff, but I don't know because they switched the periods. And I've had multiple teachers tell me that. was like, and the guy was like, oh, we can't do nothing about it. But I don't, I wish I could also sign off on his schedule because I'm like, okay, I hear y'all, but.

Kiara (40:13)
Yeah, my girl Chala hates that too. Yeah.

Tanesha (40:36)
Is it possible if we already did this, is it possible for this? Because even like even when I told someone earlier, I would tell them, they was like, well, he needs this, this, this, this, this. OK, so how can we do this? Because I'm willing for him to go to summer school. I'm willing for X, Y, Z. Or we could do it at home, But I also don't want to push him to the point where he shuts down.

Kiara (40:54)
Mm-hmm.

That's right. Because that's tough. Yeah. My daughter's like that. Well, she just, if you push her too hard, you got to figure out the right, right balance to be effective and to also kind of help them like, I think what we're talking about is kind of that pressure, right? Like, it's how do you help them manage this pressure in a system that is not built by us, right? It's not built by the parent is maybe not built by people who understand that there's different neural neural ⁓

Tanesha (41:04)
Because once you shut down, there's nothing. There's nothing you can do.

There isn't. That's

the problem. It's not. It's created for one, the vision of what they think is ⁓ normal, normalcy, and what everybody's supposed to be on and is not created in the way of each child learns different or trying to least, if everyone has to learn the common information and we know so much about...

Kiara (41:33)
Yeah.

Tanesha (41:56)
Neon divergence and knowing that everyone has a different teaching style. like remember we talked about coming back from the pandemic Everything was on the computer Everybody don't learn that way. Yeah, and everybody don't learn that way or that's when you get them to go Well, I don't care what you're talking about. Let me go ahead and get on YouTube real quick or let me Go over here and play the game and they like they're not paying attention Well, because you have a child that if you give them access to do whatever they want

Kiara (42:06)
It still is, which is complicated,

Tanesha (42:25)
versus how we grew up, no. Like we would get in trouble for drooling, but at least we still was writing on a piece of paper or we was still having the engagement, that's the word, the engagement between the teacher and the student with.

Kiara (42:39)
like in the same

room, like they're watching you, they're looking at you, you're looking at them, like maybe they say something, maybe they don't, but like there's the opportunity for that quick, like that visual like cue to be like, get back on task where you might, you definitely don't have that on a computer.

Tanesha (42:49)
Mm-hmm.

versus,

yeah, versus knowing, okay, everybody, need y'all to go in Google Classroom, and I need y'all to sit here, and I put an assignment up there, and I y'all to do that assignment, and then walk around. Why you not doing the assignment?

Kiara (43:04)
Or they'd

be at their computers working grading because ain't nobody got time for nothing. I respect teachers, it's hard, it's a hard job. But I also think we just don't equip them or the kids to succeed necessarily in the best manner, which is a problem.

Tanesha (43:10)
You know, but.

Yeah, and I'm gonna also say yes, I appreciate the teachers, but in truthfully over the years we have definitely seen how the teacher appreciation has gone down, diminished a lot. And the only time they seem like people are appreciating them was during the pandemic when everyone had to now start teaching their kids.

Kiara (43:40)
yeah, because we all became teachers

and I tell you that's not a gift I have.

Tanesha (43:45)
Which

I realize that is a gif. I enjoy writing on the whiteboard and teaching them. Like I used to love learning what they were learning so then I could try to explain it. But now it's like, what? Like my daughter had some math and something about comparable numbers and she had a roundup and didn't roundup but you had to estimate but then they gave her.

Kiara (43:59)
you

Yeah, what

is this? That is not how we learned it, okay?

Tanesha (44:10)
One of it

was like, it was 165 divided by four, but estimate. And I looked at her and I was like, were you not paying any class? You weren't paying attention? goes, I was. So, do you not understand? I do. So then why are you asking me? Because I don't know what you're talking about.

Kiara (44:16)
Oh, okay, okay. I see what you're saying.

I don't.

This is how YouTube and Khan Academy became my friends because I was like, I don't know. I was like, who does this? I was like, we've never did it that way.

Tanesha (44:38)
I love Khan Academy, but it's still like...

actually that before just to defer from it but it's still about the same topic with my oldest before

everyone had to be on the computer, that was the easiest way for me to get him to be engaged was the computer. By putting Kyan Academy on there for him because he wasn't constantly on there. We have something was called up here, iReady. He loved being on iReady because that was, it was a special time to be on the computer because it wasn't work. Now the fact that everything's on the computer is just like. ⁓

Kiara (45:10)
think we have it too.

Tanesha (45:22)
I'd rather do something else. This is no fun no more. I'm trying to do kind of me now. I'm trying to kind of me now is like Khan was like What I really have to watch this why meanwhile that was the especially when he was in the charter school and How advanced a charter school was which was that's why I put him in there cuz I was like I need you Yeah, if you are teaching them a great ahead get ahead

Kiara (45:25)
yes ma'am.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

wow.

Tanesha (45:49)
Yeah, like they were in first grade, he was getting taught almost third grade stuff.

Kiara (45:56)
my.

Tanesha (45:57)
So some concept for him was like, I didn't understand, but put Kangan Academy on? because it was the visual. Khan Academy, sorry. It was the visual. It was the visual. It was them explaining it, him going, OK, and him getting the minima. He was doing it. was understanding it. And then once it just becomes oversaturated of constantly being on the computer, that is the word.

Kiara (46:04)
Khan Academy. It's okay.

Mm-hmm.

Tanesha (46:22)
that connection disappears. is no longer... Oh, this is... Yes! Yes!

Kiara (46:24)
It does.

special. Yeah, it just becomes the norm.

And therefore you're just and like you said, you can be overwhelmed because you're constantly on it. So now what becomes like unique is that one on one connection when the teacher like sits there and like works through it with you and stuff. And so I had to get really good at like looking for opportunities like the school here does like what they call remedial kind of stuff. But it's not really remedial. It's just giving you extra help, which I guess ultimately is that in a way.

but it's on grade level. Yeah, so it's, yeah, they call it pack time where they kind of sit there and they like.

Tanesha (46:57)
Like a resource, like a resource room?

Kiara (47:04)
you pick that time to go to your teachers and learn things that you may have had an issue with. So it's built-in tutoring, I feel like, which is great. And then they also have the Saturday Academy, which they do throughout the whole year, but also particularly around finals. I don't know if it's midterms too, but I know they do it around testing times. ⁓ you just go up there. You don't have to sign in or anything. You go up there and you just get extra

Tanesha (47:07)
That was good though.

Yeah.

Kiara (47:34)
help. Like, you're like, I have no clue what's happening here and I need help before my final. Can you spend some time with me?

Tanesha (47:41)
I think also too what they need to normalize and what they don't normalize, what they normalize with us was it was okay to ask for help. I know I do too, but I'm saying it was okay and I feel like the kids this generation is like, you need help. And I think that's like a stigma, like Well I think for him, because he does not like people helping him because it makes him feel like you.

Kiara (47:48)
yes, I still do, by the way.

Tanesha (48:10)
Pressuring him, judging him, internalize he makes it feel like you think I'm stupid that I don't get it. Versus if I'm trying to help him, he knows where I'm coming from, but I'm also wrong. It's different, but me trying to get him to, hey, they're trying to help you, so go. If he has the option not to go.

Kiara (48:27)
Right, so that's different.

Tanesha (48:38)
Like they're not going and they don't, especially in high school. He used to run from their speech teacher. He used to hide.

Kiara (48:39)
Hang on.

I'm

Tanesha (48:50)
Cause they would call me to the point where it finally got taken off his IP. Cause it was like, he's not coming. If he wants to come on his own, cool. We will still help him. But he's not coming. And he was like, cause they're trying to micromanage me. Like he'll like say certain things and they'll just be like, they're there to help. And in his brain, speech is language, language. And he's like, I can speak. He doesn't connect that it's.

Kiara (49:16)
comprehension too.

Tanesha (49:16)
comprehension

and also rewriting and getting better in all my subjects.

Maybe anybody who has neurodivergent children. Please, in the comments, give me some pointers. I'm still learning this in a new era of teenager to adulthood. ⁓ please help me if you have tricks that you get them to trick them into learning. It's great. Because I feel like I ran out of options right now. I don't know.

Kiara (49:37)
Yep.

sure

there's some options but I get it. I definitely get it. ⁓ I think all of us could use some help in that area and so we'll definitely be looking for some experts to come hang out on our show and give us some of those pointers and tips because regardless of whether we're dealing with seniors or juniors or kids who are in grade school or middle school, this pressure can just really feel overwhelming and like it's too much. I, speaking of pressure...

Tanesha (50:16)
Mmm. Let's go.

Kiara (50:19)
I think we want to move on to our next topic today, which is a little bit different, but still it's still pressure, right? So a new year, I mean, I don't know. With a new year, you get the opportunity to look back at like what worked for you last year and what didn't.

Tanesha (50:25)
In the adult kind, I guess.

Kiara (50:36)
And then you have the opportunity to kind of evaluate. And most people do that in, you know, January where they set up resolutions. And so I want to talk a little bit about that process of setting up resolutions, why you do it, why you don't, and just some tips for people out there who might be looking at ways to make things better for themselves. So do you do New Year's resolutions? No? Yeah, me neither.

Tanesha (50:44)
Right.

well.

No, I do not. I

have found when I do resolutions, I don't stick to them. I trail off like everybody else do. It's just a trend that go, yeah, and we all do it good for a month. And then it goes, doodle doodle doodle. So this time, even with us talking and me talking ⁓ to my partner and ⁓ just understanding that if I really want change,

Kiara (51:08)
You

Tanesha (51:28)
can't just keep talking about it. Like, in making small efforts, I have to make things. So this year, I made goals. And you make goals. And I think the last couple of days, I've really been on it. Like, so we need to be doing this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,

Kiara (51:51)
Yes.

Tanesha (51:53)
and practicing gratitude and appreciation, but in its truest form and not just saying I'm grateful and thankful, like actually truly meaning it. ⁓ yeah, I mean, I think that's where I'm at. What about you? Do you do resolution? Do you do resolution?

Kiara (52:09)
Yeah.

Resolution?

Absolutely not. So you can forget that word. Absolutely not. ⁓ And for the exact reason that you just mentioned, right? Like resolutions, feel like are opportunities to fail. Like, I want to do this, but like, what am I going to do to get there? I always am very goal-oriented. And I, when I talk to people about this, like even my kids, I'm like, you can't just want something. You have to put steps in place to get it. ⁓

And that's how you become successful. Like, you put steps in place instead of saying, like, I want to make a million dollars. Like, ask yourself, how? Ask yourself those steps you could take to do it and look for ways to, like, reward yourself along the way. Like, I got, you know, $25,000. Woohoo! Like, I'm happy for you. You're happy for you. But how do you reach that? And if 25 is too high, how do you start with, like, $100? And then, you know, move up. ⁓

Tanesha (53:07)
Yeah.

Kiara (53:09)
So yeah, resolutions to me just aren't ⁓ super sustainable. I had a mentor a while ago who told me she picked like a word of the year that she wanted to. ⁓

she wanted to model and she would like, she would learn the word, she'd look for a scripture that helped reinforce the word and then she would like write it somewhere that she could see it. And I've seen her, someone else tell me that too. Like they wrote a word down and that was their word and they make sure they look at it every day. So that became my practice like a couple years ago.

And the word for this year is consistency. ⁓ Because I think that is what I struggle with in certain areas. Like I feel like I have so many ideas that sometimes I can like get bored of one and just move on to a different thing. Instead of just following the step process that I mentioned. Like I can make anything happen. Like y'all, you've seen it happen. Like I can make anything happen. But am I going to want to stick with it?

What's the next step to it? Like, how do I get myself, like, all the way there? Like, this book I've been trying to finish? Like, how do I get it there? You know, I gotta do something to get these things finished. And so I feel like you have to build a sustainable system. You have to build a...

Tanesha (54:15)
Both of us.

Kiara (54:26)
workflow or some kind of process that allows you to have a goal and these steps to get there. So that's my biggest tip for that kind of thing. So like I said, my goal is consistency in all things in life. So the things that I want to be consistent in working out, I want to be consistent in eating right. I want to be consistent in how I approach, you know, my days and from a wellness perspective and making sure I meditate in the morning, making sure that I look at my day and plan it accordingly and can get excited about that.

I started feeling like, ugh, here it is, it's another day. And I ain't gonna lie, I haven't been totally successful in this as yet, but baby steps, you know what saying? Baby steps, we're getting there. And ⁓ I'm excited about what that looks like when you, cause I was, I feel like I can be consistent for a period of time and then I get bored and I just move on. I'm like, yeah.

Tanesha (55:15)
I think that's both of us. ⁓ I think

that's both of us and I'm not sure if that's a genetic thing or a thing. don't know. But that's definitely both of us because, you know, I'm going to adopt that word too. Consistency. And I'm going to write. Because this is another thing. I watched what's called The Secret.

Kiara (55:22)
It could be. ⁓

Yes, I've seen it and read it.

Tanesha (55:41)
And if I can listen to that every day, I think that's going to be my goal. Just to listen to it every day. Just listen to what they talk about every day because listening to it, gives me such a ⁓ surge of power that I did not realize or didn't realize I had. And it gets me to the point where it's like, well, where was I that I never knew about this stuff? And of course, my partner be looking at me like.

Kiara (56:08)
I think we talked, it was years ago. I

Tanesha (56:10)
We probably did. We probably did. But that was 10 years ago. There was a lot of happening 10 years ago. you know. But

Kiara (56:10)
was gonna say, I'm pretty sure we talked about this like 10 years ago. Yeah, you're right.

Tanesha (56:20)
also too, 10 years ago, I will also say that's when I was the most consistent working out because I lost 70 pounds. I mean, granted, I did have other issues happening at that time too, but.

I stayed consistent and determined on those two things and I had went back to school and was very successful that semester. So much so that I only failed the class because I failed the final and I didn't have another attempt to take the test.

And I failed the final, not like I tanked the final, but I still failed it to the point where I was like, nah, hold on, I was getting B's up in the, what is this? And it was too late. And I wasn't aware that if I failed the final, that I was gonna automatically fail the class, didn't matter, all the other work that I was doing. And of course, if I really knew and really asked questions, I would have like, nah, we're gonna redo this because I ain't taking this class again, okay?

Kiara (57:03)
you would fail the class. Yeah, that's crazy.

Great.

Tanesha (57:19)
I love y'all, but I not take this class again because I had B's and A's in those classes. And I took four classes. And had a newborn. And had a toddler. And had the, he was eight. So, nah, I was healing. I was, and then, you know, no, it wasn't even that. was, you know what it is? Because sometimes when someone sees you doing really good without them,

Kiara (57:20)
Yeah.

Yeah, I remember. You were doing things. You guys hired the bank assistant?

Tanesha (57:50)
they come back.

Kiara (57:52)
geez.

Tanesha (57:53)
And try to mess you up because they're like, well, now you're everything I want. What happened? And then they come back and bring their drama with them. And then what happens? You are bettering yourself. And they're like, I want you to do that, but I can't have that. Not without me, the nerve. How could you do such a thing? And then, and then I got pregnant. And then all of it went poof.

Kiara (58:02)
Ain't that the truth.

Can't have that, yeah.

Right. That's a nerve.

Yeah. Yeah, I get it.

No, I think you just, you just, I want to clock that statement. When people see you doing good, they want to come back in. And I think what I've learned to do is to be my own gatekeeper. Like, you can't be here if you're not bringing, I require everyone around me to bring the same kind of hustle and energy in one way or another. ⁓

because that's what it takes to get around me. Like, I ain't just gonna let you sit here and drag me down into an epiphany of crazy. Like, I can be there for you, but I'm not going to your crazy level. And I think all of us need to have an opportunity to just look at your inner circle. Like, if you don't like the way your life is going,

Tanesha (59:00)
Mm-hmm. I was about to say,

look at that circle. Mm-hmm.

Kiara (59:03)
look at that circle.

Like, what are you cultivating around you? What is your environment looking like? And like, one of the things that I wanted to do last year, and I remember saying is like, I need more people who are like hustlers around me. And look what we ended up with, like that whole our culture clash network of hustlers and everybody ready, everybody ready to get in here and get the work done. But I think a lot of that, again, I think that is understanding what you want and being like self ⁓

aware, and then also recognizing that you need to make a change, and then trying to make that change. And a part of that, I do think there's a part of manifestation in there. I definitely think there's a part of, like, evaluation of yourself and, again, your surroundings. like, sometimes it's hard for a flower to grow when it's surrounded by weeds, right, or in concrete. But it can still do it, but it's harder to do it. And so I just think it's an opportunity for all of us to

Tanesha (59:56)
It can still do it.

Kiara (1:00:03)
grow in a really smart and capable way. So that is my advice for anyone out there as you're looking to go into your 2026 and you're like, I want to be these things because we have a whole vision board for Main Event Mamas.

Tanesha (1:00:16)
and we have our own visual board for ourselves.

Kiara (1:00:18)
That's right, because y'all should see mine. It's, woo, I got plants and I can't wait.

Tanesha (1:00:22)
I mean, I unfortunately

I did not write in my journal but I will be doing that after this because you know I only have four hours of sleep and I was I was not feeling very goalish at the time. Wasn't feeling I mean I stay as positive as can and then I finally told them y'all need to go. Mommy needs to go sleep. I gotta go sleep now. I need y'all to.

Kiara (1:00:30)
Yeah.

Night night.

No, I support it. Because I, girl, I need sleep.

Tanesha (1:00:40)
But I agree

with that statement as in having the correct people around you because if you don't have the correct people around you or you have, it's easier for them to also cloud the noise that you already have inside your head. I know for me. So even like, I'm gonna credit you. I'm gonna credit our baby sister, Kavalin. I'm going to credit, yes.

Kiara (1:00:53)
Mm-hmm.

We hustlers, and we gonna make you

a hustler whether you ready or not. We gonna all hustle together.

Tanesha (1:01:06)
And I'm going to

credit my man because sometimes I don't know why. Cause I'll be just a little too much. I mean he'd be too much too but that's not the point. I just said, but this is also to me doing self-reflection and also like to therapy. Actually getting.

Kiara (1:01:18)
Okay, hold that thought.

Mm-hmm.

Tanesha (1:01:28)
Stop buffering the things and actually trying to get to the root of the issue because I can't keep saying I want to be better I'm achieving to be better and I'm still not trying to get to the root of it and Like I said to watching the secret has opened my I was like well. Yeah, no, I don't want to be my trauma no more That needs to go This this can't this can't be me because I aspire to be so much more

Kiara (1:01:48)
Yeah, I love the secret. It was very inspirational.

Tanesha (1:01:56)
And hence when it comes to the goals, have... We... The goals, I'm like, and the consistency, because we both had goals. Our books were supposed to be done by the end of this year. Last year. ⁓ Now... Yeah. Way, way before that. Yeah. It was supposed to be way before that. And... Just trying to stick to it. Because I do have a problem sticking to it. Because then, yes, I, my brain will go...

Kiara (1:02:05)
They were. They were supposed to be done last year, And before the end of last year, it was supposed to be done way before that, because we started the year before. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Tanesha (1:02:25)
over here. ⁓ look, there's a rainbow. I want to do that instead. And you'll be like, even with you, I know I'm like, so can we do that? like, okay, slow down. Can we? ⁓

Kiara (1:02:28)
I know, squirrel. Squirrel.

Yeah,

I was like, we can do a lot of things, but let's stop and get the steps in place. Yes.

Tanesha (1:02:41)
I need you to stick to this right now. I'm like,

but we need to stick. Okay, cool.

Kiara (1:02:47)
Yes, we can do all

the things, but we have to start and ground in the foundation. And so with that, think like, just want to wrap that up by saying like, one of the main things I think starts my end of year kind of review and my next year vision is gratitude, right? So yes, is gratitude. It's just being grateful first that I made it because not everybody did. And that

everyone around me made it and that we're here and we love each other and no one's beefing to a degree where we need to figure that out. ⁓

that we accept each other as we are, that we have this level of compassion and love for each other around us, and to just kind of share that with the world, and that we get the opportunity to bring that joy and that love and that warmth to you guys watching also. To know that, you know, this is your sister Chattoo. You're welcome to come and join us in any way you feel that you want to. Join our comments. We always answer. Hit us up on TikTok. I have lots of arguments and fun with our TikTok community on Instagram, on Facebook.

We're there. Feel free to hit us up in our live streams, because you know. If you know, you know. That's all I'm going say. If you know, you know. So I suggest you join to find out what you need to know. It's very fun. We try to bring all of that. And so with that, just want to say, I mean, it was a great episode back.

Tanesha (1:04:01)
We're very interactive on our live streams.

Kiara (1:04:11)
We had some deep conversations about adulting and about parenting and talking about like this college experience that we're still going through. Like I was just checking my text message because he's like, technically the deadline still applies. Then get it in because I ain't got time.

Tanesha (1:04:19)
is not over now.

Not even saying technically

the deadline is still up. Sir, hurry up. You found somebody. What is wrong? Nephew, get your life together. What is happening? We know you don't want to go, but you gotta go. Like, sir. ⁓

Kiara (1:04:30)
I was like, help me God. Thank you. I don't know. I'm over here. Like, I need prayer.

I mean, we're not gonna be far. That's why I keep telling myself

that we're gonna be like 20 minutes away probably, which is crazy because I was like states away from my parents. So like, good luck. ⁓ with that I was like we might have to move cities or something because we're too close. But no, I'm kidding. No, I'm kidding. No, I'm not kidding. Yeah, that's exactly right. I'm like wait, I'm not kidding. I don't want you just coming home for dinner. Like, no sir.

Tanesha (1:04:57)
Like you can't just think you can come home anytime you feel like it, okay? Vacation on breaks.

Come home

for Thanksgiving and Christmas break. Thanks. Okay, we'll get there. We'll get there. We have many more episodes before he graduates. We'll get more. no, don't start. Don't start.

Kiara (1:05:08)
But I'ma miss him. Anyway, ⁓ I'm sorry. You're right. And one of them will probably and

definitely be me crying. ⁓ But I do want to say we have some great surprises in store for you guys. But it's time to wrap up. So we want to talk about where you can find us, Tanesha

Tanesha (1:05:29)
So if you want to listen to us other than see us, you can listen to us on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Audible, Amazon Music, Pocket Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube Music, YouTube.

Kiara (1:05:44)
Yep. Mm-hmm. That's right.

That's right.

And anywhere else podcasts are heard. You can also follow us on all the channels that I mentioned a few minutes ago. TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, ⁓ X on pretty much everywhere.

Tanesha (1:05:55)
I'm so Mike.

Kiara (1:06:08)
You can also visit us on our website, mainofitmamaspodcast.com, where you can catch all of our videos in case you're not subscribed to be able to be in the know, which I know you wouldn't. I mean, if you're here, then you're absolutely subscribed to all of these things, because you know where we are. But if you just want to catch up on our episodes, like if you want to find out what Aftermath is about, it's definitely on our website. That's our True Crime podcast. If you want to find out where our live streams are hidden, they're in an archive on our podcast. They're also on YouTube,

And you can follow us individually. I am Kiara Mama Pod at Facebook and Instagram, no underscore, and I am Content Vixen on X.

Tanesha (1:06:38)
Yes.

And I am Tanesha, wait, yeah, I'm Tanesha underscore mama pod. Sorry, I was like, wait, why are you saying the underscore? Because I'm the underscore. Tanesha underscore mama pod on TikTok and on Instagram. And I'm very interactive on Instagram. So, hit that up.

Kiara (1:06:55)
right.

And on threads. I didn't mention threads, if you want to mix it up with me, that's probably the fastest way to do that because I'm always there. And with that, we want to say.

Tanesha (1:07:13)
We're not new to this. This was made of it.

Kiara (1:07:15)
We're so true to this.

See you next time.