Leaving the Villa: The 56% Mismatch & Our Guide to Summer Flings

this is the transcript: Kevelyn (00:46)

I'm Kevelyn.

Kiara (00:47)

And I'm Kiara.

Tanesha (00:49)

And you're now entering the sister chat. Welcome to Main Event Mamas.

Kiara (00:58)

Wow. And we are back. So today we're definitely gonna be talking about summer flings.

Tanesha (00:58)

Yeah.

Ha

Kiara (01:05)

Little Love Island, you're gonna indulge in Kiara's summer time show of the world. Like it's the best thing ever. And I've introduced my sisters to it, and so it may come up a lot this summer. But before we get into that, I want to remind you that this is your opportunity to hit that subscribe button right now, wherever you're listening to this, whether we're on a podcast channel or you are watching us on YouTube, we would like you to subscribe, to follow, to like and to share.

In on our sister chats. And with that, y'all, it's June now, which means the shenanigans have begun. And by that, I want to reference that. You know, we talked a little bit about Love Island, but one of the things that I have found watching this show is that people, you know, they take these summer flings into their real life, and they're like, we're going to be together forever.

And then inevitably the news is ⁓ covered on many of their breakups. In fact, last season's Love Island, I think there may be two people together. Maybe, maybe not. And one of them, the audience kind of put together. So I'm kind of curious. Like, what do you think about Summer flings overall? Good idea, bad idea? Is there an age limit? Tell me.

Tanesha (02:31)

Meanwhile speaking of someone, you know, who used to have summer flanks, I don't have them on women no more. But it was always good to have them when you came to visit some place and then you left. Cause then

I'm gonna miss you so much. Okay, bye. And then go somewhere else.

Kiara (02:52)

Okay. I mean that's a choice. What about you, Kevelyn

Kevelyn (02:57)

I think there might be an age limit. ⁓ they were really fun when we were younger, but it gets a little complicated I think the older you get. Just saying.

Tanesha (03:00)

no. ⁓

Kiara (03:09)

Yeah. I think you might be right there. But I don't know. There's some people who out here have the summer flings at any age. You know what I mean? I mean, you know, I I went to one of them retirement communities and good God, it was just really it was like hot girl summer all over. So I'm just trying to tell you, like I have seen that in practice in many age groups is all I'm saying. So I don't know. I mean I think that we think there's an age limit 'cause typically they happen what? Like, you know, when you're quite young.

either in your teens or your twenties. But I'm just saying, you know.

Tanesha (03:45)

I'm just saying if I wasn't in a committed relationship, I probably would have summer flings Just wherever I go. I think so. Cause I mean I probably would travel here or there. Dibble dabble. Have somebody over here. Have somebody over there.

Kiara (03:53)

You think so?

You could still do that. I mean I you know, I'm just saying you could if you wanted.

Tanesha (04:03)

You know what?

I mean, but

we're in I'm talking about in the scheme of summer fling ish, right? So if I'm talking about if I let's say I come to y'all and I visit y'all, right? I had a s a situation that quickly evaporated as quickly as it started. But I was I was an adult exactly. But what I'm saying is

Kiara (04:24)

It's a certain room.

We were adults at that time, I would just like to add.

Mm-hmm.

Tanesha (04:35)

If

I didn't get scooped up. Who knows how many summer flings I would have had in the last three years? Four years? Five? Who's counting?

Kiara (04:43)

Well, you

would not be in the minority here because according to Talker Research, forty one percent of adults actively look for a summer fling or a vacation hookup, and forty two percent have pulled one off. So where do you fit in that? I mean, I think you've already said you've done these things, but like

Tanesha (05:04)

I mean, I have not done these things in the last three years. But

You know, it I definitely could have been in that little pool there, you know what I'm saying? Because people do it all the time. Like how many times we've sat here and watched people like, you know, what the what's the saying? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Those could be random flings. Sumber flings, nightstand flings, you all these little whatever flings, right? Whatever. How many people I'm just saying.

Kiara (05:35)

Right, Dan Flink.

Tanesha (05:38)

But or we have people who go away on vacation, a girl's trip. And then they, you know, they log eyes with a local. And then all of a sudden the locals traveling them all over the world for that week. Two days, four days, and they're all, my god. And then bye. Sometimes you know they last longer, depending on they need a green card or not. But you know.

Kiara (05:39)

Yeah.

What?

Tanesha (06:06)

I'm just saying.

Kiara (06:07)

If

they need a green card, that's fair. I mean I I understand. I did watch ninety day fiance and had a lot of thoughts.

Tanesha (06:12)

How about

saying, come on, mostly nine day fiancees are people who flings. They got a fling all of a sudden randomly and then they became a situation.

Kiara (06:21)

Fair. Fair enough. All right. However, since I mean we can establish yes, maybe all of us have had summer flings Let me confirm, deny. Like I can absolutely say I did to some success and your some failure, depending on how you look at it. What about you, Kevelyn Have you had summer flings? Because we're gonna get into some more conversation about the good and the bad thing.

Tanesha (06:44)

You better not lie.

Kevelyn (06:46)

I have.

Yes. I have experienced I have experienced summer flings prior before.

Kiara (06:52)

Yeah. I mean like it's a vibe, I think we were just saying. I was just saying to y'all a little bit off camera. I mean, it makes sense. In the summer, you wearing a little less clothes, got a little bit more time, especially you're younger. But you know, even adults apparently take the summer as an opportunity to get it in. And with that, I feel like there's some rules to a s successful flame, right? Because I feel like the idea of it's to be like this very casual experience.

But it can be done very badly Like it can be done wrong. And so I kind of want to dive into like what I think are some like standard rules you gotta have for a successful thing. Are you ready to talk about it?

Kevelyn (07:34)

Let's do

Tanesha (07:34)

guess so. It's kinda scared, but let's go.

Kiara (07:40)

Feel like the first thing is that you should set clear boundaries early. So, like one of the things I think people struggle with is they try to hold on to this experience past the summer. So sometimes maybe just letting people know that this is just a vibe for right now is an easy way to be able to let that fling, you know, fizzle out successfully. But what do you think? Am I wrong? You can absolutely tell me I'm wrong, I'm here for it.

Tanesha (08:06)

mean do I think there's clear boundaries? Kinda. I mean I think I mean I think you can let it be known that you are just here to have a fun time and maybe, you know, you may be open to conversation later, but that doesn't mean that, you know, I'm your girl and you're my man. Don't act as such. No, when we're together, we're together. And when we're not, don't be blowing up my phone.

Kiara (08:10)

I think you can set clear boundaries for, you know.

Yeah, yeah, that's fair.

I feel like for me, I didn't really think that far ahead. I felt like I had the understanding and maybe it wasn't voiced or maybe not understood by the other person that this is just for right now. But go ahead, Kevelyn Loki, you want you had something to say there.

Kevelyn (08:58)

No, I was just gonna say it would be nice to know in advance, but I think that a lot of the time we're just in the moment. And nobody's really, you know, voicing anything about the longevity of the situation.

Kiara (09:07)

Here.

I feel like you might be right there. I feel like you might be right there. I mean, you just hit it. But I also feel like like let's let's take a minute here. Would it be easier when you're trying to like uncouple towards the end of the summer where you're ready to get back to your regular lives or you're ready to go back to your regular responsibilities where you just set the standard like we're together until August first or we're together until Labor Day and after that lose my number? Like I feel like

I mean you could always revisit it next summer if that's what you really wanna do. You can just leave it open. But I also feel like a lot of these relationships have a time limit. And so it's important to like tell people so you don't blow up my phone and I gotta block you or change my number. I'm just saying, I mean I feel like that's, you know, an easy process conversation to have in already but you know, out the rooms. You know, like on the beach or

dinner or if you're seen in the daylight or if you're seen at night, either way. Somebody should say something. It's my point. It's my thing. Why you look like that, Tanisha?

Tanesha (10:24)

Well one I had a thought off of c of a conversation that we had offline. 'Cause then the that particular thing popped in my head and I went, I remember now. Like I really like it came in my head and I remembered. But I can't say that out loud because we can't say the people's names. But it's pertain I know, it's pertaining to you, Kevby. Anyway, but

Kiara (10:44)

Will not say to people.

Not her calling you out like this, the disrespect.

Tanesha (10:53)

Wait, hold on, time out, because okay,

the t to to put it in more perspective, when we were younger, she had to come with me everywhere when I had the cars. So we got into some shenanigans. And since our dad is not here, I can't get in trouble. And technically she grown now, so Ma can't get mad at me either. So respectfully.

Kevelyn (10:59)

Thank you.

Thank you.

Tanesha (11:20)

But they're regarding summer flings I remember, you know. But ⁓ but I was gonna say something else too. I was gonna, but I kinda got.

Kiara (11:28)

I

feel like I was at college during this time where I don't know. I must have been God.

Kevelyn (11:30)

I feel like you were.

Tanesha (11:31)

Yeah, you definitely yeah, you ran you ran

far, far away. You didn't you it wasn't you

Kevelyn (11:33)

Definitely not.

Kiara (11:35)

That sounds accurate.

Or I was too busy with my my flings Like maybe I have other things going on at that time.

Tanesha (11:42)

I mean,

Kevelyn (11:43)

no.

Tanesha (11:43)

you know, it was a lot going on, especially during that summer. That summer there was a there was a lot of moving pieces and parts and things that was happening, especially over here.

Kiara (11:45)

Now that I'm thinking about the calendar, anyway.

Okay,

what okay, I'm trying to figure out what summer was this? Like, don't don't give the exact like give me a gist. Was I at school or was I like

Tanesha (11:56)

What's summer?

Yes. Mm-hmm.

This one I lived down there. This one I moved down there to go to school. No, when I went to go to school. Well then, you know, technically yes, but then when I was with you, there could have been potential summer fling 'cause he was fine. But you know, that didn't happen because then, you know, I was in a weird situation that should have stayed a summer fling and it became more than it was supposed to be. And then I had kids. Anyway, so

Kevelyn (12:02)

Yes.

Kiara (12:06)

With me or with

so I was okay.

Kevelyn (12:10)

How does it

Kiara (12:26)

So again, if you see th

Kevelyn (12:27)

Great.

Kiara (12:28)

this is why I feel like I think that comes back to like the first rule of making it like known that this is a clear boundary. Like this is going to end at this date, sir. Like or ma'am or whomever. Like we are not going to be together after this date at all.

Tanesha (12:48)

Well see, this is where it comes into like, okay, so like, you know, when we used to go visit dad, right? We visited dad. We had no whatever. But then, you know, I I I can remember back, you know, I always had a person that every summer I came back, they were my boo. It wasn't when I came back in the building, there was no whoever you're talking to, whoever it is they gotta go. Cause I'm here. And then they can come back.

Kiara (12:55)

We had no choice.

You did.

Tanesha (13:15)

That's how that works. Now as an adult, I don't that doesn't work as well. 'Cause it'd be like, but why you gotta have that person, that person? Why can't you just, you know, for but as a kid, I mean, I feel like I had people eating at the palm my hand. It was just like to pick up a litter.

Kevelyn (13:32)

Not the pick of the litter.

Tanesha (13:34)

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm too hyped. This Red Bull. It's empty now and I'm awake. And it's just, you know. Something about this Red Bull that makes me go a little cuckoo for Cocoa Pluffs. Okay, I'm ready. I'm listening.

Kiara (13:35)

Well okay.

Kevelyn (13:39)

Yeah.

Kiara (13:43)

Okay. Well

But

it may I'll remember that as we film next time. Well, let's talk about the next rule that I think is like super useful, you know, for a good summer fling or a good yeah, a good summer fling. So maximizing shared experiences. So what I mean is like you can like keep it light and fun by doing things together, like spending a ton of time together, doing really like cinematic things like going on beach dates and like rooftops.

club drinks and like weekend getaways and stuff like that. Like I think that's like, you know, a good rule to have since you know, that's you just need to have something to remember it by. Because again, it's a just a time limit. And I don't want everything to be done in a room. You know what I'm saying? Like can we go somewhere? Can we see something so that it can have like a moment?

Tanesha (14:32)

So pretty much like it's you're my fun.

Like we're having fun. Like this is a fun thing. You know, once you get attached, it's like

Kiara (14:41)

Right. Right. But also like you need to know like, you know,

Back to even like the clear boundaries. I don't wanna meet your mama. You ain't gonna meet mine. You know what I'm saying? We're not gonna go to each other's houses. Don't introduce me as nothing. Like I don't want that opportunity. You wanna keep it light and cozy and comfy. So that, you know, when you reach that date of goodbye, it's not like whatever happened to I don't wanna be reminded of you by my family. I was like, I don't maybe it's me. just

Tanesha (14:56)

Mm.

No, it's not. I mean, I

will sit here and say that definitely like having the memories and stuff like that. You know, you wanna have like, you know, the fun times, you know, you wanna be like whatever. But see, this is when it gets tricky because then what do you do when somehow you slip up and you meet a member of the family? Off a whim.

Kiara (15:45)

How you slipping up? What you going to cook houses, huh? How you doing that?

Tanesha (15:47)

No, but what if

they bring them to come get you? Or to fix a tire. Or to you know, you got your tire broke. Then now they gotta come what what happens then when that happens? What if you called the what if what if you called the fling? The fling and the fling had they were in the middle of doing something and they brought a member of their family and now you're like

Kiara (15:52)

Brand who account gets

So who gotta come? So y so who is coming this

Is that as light as you want it to get? Like I feel like once you start d depending pe on people for things that it's not ⁓ light and cozy. It's a little bit more like

Tanesha (16:20)

I mean, would I call it depending

on people or just calling because I know you would come?

Kiara (16:29)

I mean, I don't know. That one I don't have the answer to. I don't know. That's a good one. Fair.

Tanesha (16:33)

You know what I'm saying? Like what if you know, I mean I have an example, but you know,

please you know.

Kiara (16:39)

That's fair. It's hard for me to imagine that one. Like I'm like, I wouldn't call them per se. I might call a friend. I might, you know, phone an actual family member. I don't think I would be like

Tanesha (16:48)

But what if you're out like what

if the other family member is not available? What if you are in what if you decided to go like what's w that movie? Eat, pray and whatever that movie's called. What the what's that movie called? What that movie called? What Uh-huh? And you by yourself, traveling by yourself. You don't got nobody with you. Who you going?

Kiara (17:01)

Eat fry and love, that one.

Okay, fine. Fine. Like, sure, sure. I mean, that's fair. What do you think, Kevelyn

Tanesha (17:12)

I'm just saying, who you calling? You may have to be like

a dollar friend.

Kiara (17:20)

What?

Kevelyn (17:20)

Those are

those are like summer romance type movies. So I could see that. You call in the one you just met, you know, 'cause you here. So that makes sense.

Kiara (17:25)

Yeah.

Tanesha (17:27)

And so far y'all

Kiara (17:28)

Yeah.

Tanesha (17:28)

been like

clicking and he's been, you know, they've been becking coming, you know, like hey, what you doing? You want to hang out snaking? And you like, hey, by the fact, I'm I'm on this side of the road. I got a flat tire. I don't know what to do. I'm coming. Okay, cool. And they bring somebody with them.

Kiara (17:37)

Here. I get it.

But the only the only problem I have is gonna go with the next rule, right? So remember we're talking about the next rule is a you know, respecting the expiration date, right? So when you start to add people to your day to day or to your your like tight knit crew or you introduce them into more of your circle, it's hard to respect that expiration date. Like I can definitely say that once you start introducing me to Mom or we go to church.

Tanesha (17:55)

Hm.

Kiara (18:12)

And seeing your uncle at the grocery store, and like you start to think, I mean, I know I said Labor Day, but I it we could probably kick it to about December because it's gonna get cold. And then you think, what's what's a few more months? You know what I'm saying? Like, it's nothing, and then next thing you know, you're you're still there the next summer. I'm just saying, if you know and you got into and you got a baby.

Tanesha (18:33)

And you got a baby.

Kiara (18:41)

nobody's story here. I'm just saying we've lived, we've lived life. So what I think is that at the end of the day, like that's when you start tiptoeing into like permanence or like extension into like your regular life. Because I can tell you like, you know, I've had quite a few relationships that started out as Summer Fling. And nobody

respected expiration dates. No one did. And I feel like partially that might have been my fault 'cause I was kicking it. I really care. But like, you know, and then you end up married and twenty years later. You know, I don't know.

Tanesha (19:23)

Ha ha.

Kiara (19:26)

Good or a bad thing, but at least one or two of those moments could have been avoided. That's all I'm saying. If you would just respect the due date. And to this day, there are still people that my mom are like, Hey, you remember? No, I don't remember this person. And do not mention that name again in front of my husband. Thank you. Like, why are you like this? So I'm just trying to tell y'all for my story.

Tanesha (19:35)

Yeah.

Kiara (19:53)

Don't be that person where that person's gonna be reminded. You know, you're gonna be reminded of them and they're gonna be reminded of you and they might show up on your Facebook or your Instagram like, Hey, no, no, you are a Summer Fling. Go back into Summer Fling land. Sorry.

Tanesha (20:09)

No.

Kiara (20:14)

Having flashbacks apologies.

Tanesha (20:21)

flashbacks I had just from us cover conversations. I was like, this amount. I was like, I remember when I went to the beach and I was watching the dolphins from the thing. I was like, this is so nice. It's so sweet. And I also remember when he was like, hey, and he just kept walking with his people. I was like, dang. You know, I remember all these things.

Kiara (20:32)

Right? Like, you took me here.

I remember that story. Listen I think that's the joy in being sisters is that you're like, Was I there for that? It's like I might have been. Anyway.

Tanesha (20:48)

You know.

Kiara (20:53)

saying people out there. These are some important rules to have. And as we're getting close to the summer or we're already in the summer, but we're we're getting close to like the deep part of the summer fleece flee split season. I can't because I'm laughing.

Tanesha (21:07)

Did you say fleece?

Kiara (21:11)

the summer fling season.

Tanesha (21:14)

If you think about it, if you're inside in this air conditioning, it's kind of cold. You need a fleece, I get you.

Kiara (21:22)

Yep. That's why mm. That's why you need a fleece. Absolutely.

Kevelyn (21:25)

Now

do you think?

Kiara (21:29)

Okay, we don't make it through this anyway. So I say what I say about the expiration date. I want to tell you there's data that backs that up, by the way. Thirty-seven percent of people, according to a Leelo survey, firmly believe a summer romance should stay short term in exactly where it happened. While only twenty-three percent want it to last beyond the season. Guys out there, what? Y'all were part of the twenty-three percent.

Kevelyn (21:32)

⁓ can you

Kiara (21:57)

Just trying to let y'all know. Let it go. So how do you feel about those numbers? No, not you. You feeling conflicted over here? No one knew who's talking.

Tanesha (22:01)

was like me. I was like, hold on, time out. And I was like, I do.

Cause I mean there was probably like maybe one or two that I was like, no, come back. Don't do we only have to when I'm there? No? Okay. I remember I made was not even that, because I remember I made Kevelyn go track somebody down in the grocery store. You remember that?

Kevelyn (22:09)

Yeah.

Kiara (22:21)

That's how I learned to set boundaries.

Kevelyn (22:29)

Yeah.

Kiara (22:30)

No

Tanesha (22:31)

Yes.

Great truck. Mm-hmm. The only white man ever. Mm-hmm. That one.

Kevelyn (22:32)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Tanesha (22:40)

You know who that is. You know who exactly who that is. Mm-hmm. That was a summer fling that should have

Kiara (22:40)

What?

Kevelyn (22:42)

Yes.

Kiara (22:46)

Not tracking him

down in the

Kevelyn (22:49)

Listen, it was the situation.

Tanesha (22:51)

Sometimes, you know, you

get a little too smitten and you'd be like, but wait.

Kiara (23:01)

Anyway, listen. All right. All right.

Tanesha (23:04)

That was so many moons ago. It's not

like it's gonna I'm tired, y'all. I'm so sorry. Jeez. We all. Mm-hmm.

Kiara (23:10)

You know, I feel like I feel like everyone has a story about a

fling that did that lived past his expiration date and should not have. Like I feel like that is a relatable conversation because you're like, it was so great and then you get stuck on them daggone summer movies that sh that be on Hallmark or Lifetime or wherever they are, box office hits, and we could be together forever and then and then.

you you realize you was wrong. That's right. Your heart is broken in and you realized you were wrong. So fair enough. All I'm saying. Anyway, but I do think like one of the terms that we've been talking about a lot is situationship. And so I as I like think back, it's kind of a question of like fling versus situationship. Because situationships are a little bit longer. So does that mean like some of those flings that outlive their

dates turn into situationships and like how to know when that's happening to avoid it. Cause as we said, there's many of us who ⁓ live through that situationship ish adjacent.

Tanesha (24:20)

All of us. Don't

don't even say some. All of us did. We all did. Individually.

Kiara (24:31)

I mean we are gorgeous girls. What can we do? What can we do? I don't listen. yes. We can admit that that happened. But I also think like that's a problem. Or no?

Tanesha (24:49)

It depends on who's asking and how it ended. I mean this is kind of crazy having this conversation while that man is in the bathroom. But ⁓ I can say growing up and with my fluff of little summer flingy thingies growing up.

It really depends on what's happening, right? So some things become situationships. I mean, some start at some riflings and some actually blossom into beautiful relationships. And you know, those are great. You know, that's great, that's beautiful. Some, you know, cloud your judgment and you think it's amazing until you're really in it and then you're like, How do I get out?

Kiara (25:31)

Yeah.

Tanesha (25:46)

⁓ and sometimes you end up with kids and divorces later and realize, ooh, you should have stayed right where you were.

I mean it was. And you was just, you know, that brain wasn't clicking. But you know, I will say that

Kiara (26:01)

Why did?

Tanesha (26:10)

I don't know what I was gonna say. I kinda like lost my thought there because I have so many things flooding in my head, like, we have this with that one. I mean I can what I can tell you, I don't know if we're gonna get there yet.

Kiara (26:24)

At least

it seems to be warm memories. Like you're like, Hey, this and this and this

Tanesha (26:30)

Yeah, we don't want to harbor on those, you know, great things. ⁓ But I will say that you know sometimes you may need to take drastic measures to end things because you know they may not be getting the hint, or you realize that is starting to go in a different path, and you're like eh-mm.

we need to and I've definitely done that. I've definitely created a fake page, may have said a couple of things to make someone not like me.

Kiara (27:10)

What is going on?

Tanesha (27:12)

But but I had to. I sometimes you got to so they can clear and break. Like, wow, yeah, yeah I know, right? And then you'd be like, my god, come back. And you're like, no, I don't want you to come back. That's why I did what I did, so you can Pew. I mean they still end up coming back anyway, years later. But I remember that vividly. That was like a No, you I don't I don't

Kevelyn (27:14)

That's a little extreme.

Okay.

Kiara (27:33)

You

Okay, this is a story I don't remember. Wait a minute.

Kevelyn (27:44)

Offline.

Tanesha (27:44)

Yep.

Kiara (27:47)

What that's crazy. Anyway, there's this is another statistic I want to get into. Because I do feel like you're right in the sense that there is a danger to that, right? Like once you you seem to be doing good and like and this is not to say it can't be a lasting relationship, because I feel like it can't. You know what I mean at some point in time. But

Tanesha (27:52)

Yeah.

Kiara (28:11)

You also know when it's not. You know what I mean? It's it's pretty clear to one or both of you at some point that we don't really fit each other's life. We don't have the same goals. None of that mattered at the beginning of the fling. At the fling it was like, you like me, I like you, and that's it. It wasn't do we both want the same thing? Do we both want children? What job do you have? What's your credit score? Like none of that was relevant during the moment.

But I also think precautions need to be taken during that time. Like, you know, perhaps some birth control of some sorts to not end up in the situation like these people on people's court. When you sit here like, Ooh, I knew my baby daddy for exactly three weeks. And here we are. So not me. Not my story. Just want to point that out. But there are many people who are

In that situation. So I feel like if you're going to do that, there are ways you can get it done and do it properly. But here is the stat I wanted to tell you guys because oof, apparently there's a gender gap here. So a Hilly dating app survey revealed a massive expectation mismatch. Seventy-five percent of young men look for casual summer romances compared to just thirty seven percent of young women.

Tanesha (29:35)

that makes sense.

Kiara (29:35)

Because

of this, fifty-six percent of women report leaving a summer fling completely heartbroken. So I wanna harp on that a little bit. Like, is that shocking to you, or are you like that kind of mixed?

Tanesha (29:44)

Yeah, that makes sense. Mm-hmm.

Mm mm, that makes sense.

Kiara (29:51)

I feel like that might lead into what we just talked about in terms of birth control and things like whoops, here we are.

Tanesha (29:57)

I mean that makes sense because us

as a female species, we get smitten very quickly by a makeout session, the way they make you feel. And all of a sudden you know you're doing all these romantic things and you're like, my god, it's great. Or she's great. Whatever. And then it's time to go home and you're trying to figure out why they're not calling you no more.

Or you may have, you know.

Gave it up. And now you're like, But why?

You know, gave it up a couple of times and now you're just like, What happened? And they're like, I'm going back home. I don't

Kiara (30:46)

Yeah. I mean, fair.

Tanesha (30:48)

I also think it's easier

for guys to do that because they can

compartmentalize that's probably not the word I'm using thank you like you're for a fun time you're for a moment and

Kiara (30:57)

Mm. Kind part to mentalize.

Tanesha (31:10)

And not get no strings attached. You what I'm saying? Like they can be like, my god, yeah. And they don't feel no feelings behind it, you know. I've seen it in action. I've seen it in live action. So it's I believe everything that that survey says because, you know, I've definitely been on both ends.

Kiara (31:18)

Yeah.

Both ends of it? Okay, Kevlin, what do you think here?

Tanesha (31:31)

yeah. ⁓

She can't tell us right now. ⁓

Kiara (31:39)

No. Okay. Cool. No worries. We out here being moms. I get it. So here's the thing. I think you're right in a lot of ways. I think that there is a bit of accelerated attachment, but I also think maybe there's a psychological thing into that, right? So as we think about it, you know, we li tend to like good things. You gotta say we tend to like do it and keep it and wanna continue feeling like that. And I think you're right, that compartmentalization that we can see. Men do

traditionally do it well. I have seen, however, it on both sides of the equation. And some some females are excellent at that, I would like to say. But I also think like when you don't have the pressures of your day-to-day life and you're like on vacation, if you will.

Tanesha (32:13)

Mm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Kiara (32:30)

Okay.

Tanesha (32:33)

I'm sorry.

Tanesha (32:38)

Anyway. Mm-hmm.

Kiara (32:38)

So the point is, right.

So the situation that we're trying to get into essentially, all that to say is obviously there's going to be times where that emotional attachment is accelerated. And a lot of that is likely because when you're in the summer, you don't have that responsibility. You have all the good vibes, all the happiness and all the joy. And so you don't have the distractions of your day to day life for a lot of us. So I think that's

why it happens as fast as it does, like and why it also falls apart as quickly as it may when you get back into your real life. Because suddenly all the cute stuff they did, not so cute no more. You know what I mean? You're like, ⁓ sometimes you don't answer your phone. I'ma need you to answer it 'cause I only got this one time to call you. Or say, you know, there's a couple of people I knew where they were hanging with people in the military or things like that. And they were getting deployed. And again it was a short term situation.

And suddenly, you know, let's get married. Hold up, guy. Hold up. Not not n not not saying how all those ended, but some of them ended well and some of them didn't at the end of the day. But one of the things I do want to unpack is that obviously

there's going to be times when those boundaries are being crossed early, is what I'm saying. So what do you do in that case? Cause you could just go with roll with it because it's a summer situation anyway, so you're like, what do I care? Or do you like cut them off already? Like, let me just cut this off and get me a new boo for the remaining whatever weeks that you happen to be in that location.

Tanesha (34:15)

mean it really depends. Like, you know. Depends on where you are. What's the vibe you're going for?

You know, or you do things like I said, do something drastic to cut it.

Kiara (34:33)

Cut it off, like you said. Create new pages and become someone else. I guess that's an option. Absolutely. Never heard this one, but you know what? Everyone has a time. Everyone has a time.

Tanesha (34:42)

Mm.

A lot of people have burner

pages.

Kiara (34:49)

I don't have the time to build all of that. I could I could just change my number things from all of that. So as a person who has not changed my number in yours. Anyway, but I feel like we've had a pretty hilarious conversation about summer flings at this point. Like I learned some things. But I also think that we talked a little bit about how sometimes they don't just stay in the summer and how that was a bad thing in some cases. So now I want to talk about the good part of that.

Tanesha (34:49)

No?

Kiara (35:19)

when they do, you know, go the distance and it's a good thing. And for instance, data from dating.com shows that 64% of casual summer connections actually beat the odds and turn into committed relationships lasting over a year. Is that a shocking statistic for you considering we've just kind of gone through all the heartbreak of it all?

Tanesha (35:46)

Well I guess so, yeah.

Yeah, I think that's a reasonable thing because, you know, it happens. Me, it's happened to me.

Kiara (35:59)

I mean sixty four percent is pretty

strong to me. I would have never thought that number would be that big. Because I think, yes, but we are an anomaly in many ways. So true. We are we're not normal. And I am freely admit that. But I also think we had the benefit of being young and breaking up and get back together eventually.

Tanesha (36:05)

Why not? I mean that's what happened with you.

Kiara (36:26)

Right. Like I we didn't stay apart for too long, but I do feel like that's something you can do when you're younger. Whereas when you're older, you might not have the patience or the tolerance to kind of do something like that. So a part of me wonders if that number is that way because it's older people. Or do I think a lot of the people in that number are younger? And then I also think like let's let's talk a minute about COVID, because it's not like you had options.

You might have been in a relationship a year or longer 'cause we was in lockdown from March until freaking a year and a half later. So there was that situation. So I'm wondering what the caveats are to that, ⁓ in the long run.

So I don't know.

Tanesha (37:12)

I mean,

wonder if that data came from that because we were all in Doc Down.

Kiara (37:16)

It it seems like it might I mean, I

don't know. I mean, I also feel like as you get older, you meet peop we don't have many opportunities to meet people when you're older in a lot of ways, right? Like I've heard a lot of my colleagues and a lot of my friends say, like, there's no one out here. Can't find nobody to date. And so they do some online dating or whatever. But then there's not a lot of face to face time. So I feel like if you meet somebody face to face and you're vibing,

Tanesha (37:25)

Amen.

Kiara (37:42)

There that could be another reason that you want things to last a little longer because you're not dealing with the uncertainty of online dating, right? Like, what if you're not your profile picture? Like, that is a huge barrier for a lot of people. So I wonder if like what the caveats are to that. And also, is that because you saw them like face to face? But I would I would imagine that that would be the case. Because I mean, if they're already in your world and your day-to-day situation.

And you like them, there may not be a rush to replace them if they seem to be vibing, right? That's the other piece I'm wondering about. I think that it's an interesting conversation to see like the different stats and how they tell us different stories. Because I'm like, when you read it all together, you sound crazy. Like a lot of people want this to last. A lot of people end up heartbroken. Men tend to do it more than women. Women are mostly heartbroken. And then

64% are like, you know what, it worked out. So if it did that, would that be a reason to try it again? Do you think?

Tanesha (38:53)

I mean it depends. It depends.

Kevelyn (38:56)

Okay, babe.

Kiara (38:58)

Like I feel like, you know, if the last one went decently and it was about a year or so, I don't know that it would be like an opportunity not to want to try it again. Like Tanisha, you mentioned like having to do some real drastic things. Did that stop you from having any more summer flings in the future? Past that situation?

Tanesha (39:19)

well that's when I had the summer fling that lasted too long after that one. That that that should have I should have been drastic then too.

Kiara (39:28)

So it didn't stop you. So it didn't stop you. Maybe the universe

is trying to tell you something if you went and listened.

I said listen it the universe, the angels was crying out and you said I ain't hear it. So I don't know. I don't know, ma'am. Anyhow.

Tanesha (39:53)

no either.

Kiara (39:57)

The one thing I do think, like I said, like our situation is different in a lot of ways because we were young, but also because we got to we got to grow up together. So that was a unique dynamic, I think. But I also feel like our relationship has a lot of those same tenets then that they do now. There's no pressure in our conversations. We talk about everything, we've seen everything. So there's no nothing I think we're shocked by.

And I I feel like when I reflect on that, I recognize that's one of the tenets I kinda love, right? Is that that's still my buddy, still my pal, that's still the person I run away with when my kids get on my nerves. Sorry, our kids get on my nerves. I run away as soon as possible. And we do. We like to escape on our little day nights and we'd be like, Deuces, we out. And the things that's the thing our kids know us for, in a sense of like, you're always together. Yeah.

We are. And so I think that's why that was able to last and go the distance was because of building that foundation of friendship. I also think, you know, there's some other caveats. We didn't meet each other before, became friends for a while. We got a little love is blind situation in here. I felt like there's a lot of things that contributed to that. But there I have also had relationships where that was straight up Summer Fling and I should have left it.

And I learned a valuable lesson and did not do that again.

Yeah. Any last thoughts about the summer fling? You telling people don't do it, tell them to hold out. I wanna know, like if you had to give one dating lesson for people or one one moment of advice of people getting ready to go into the summer and perhaps dabble in to a summer fling, what would it be?

Tanesha (41:55)

Don't forget to have fun. And strap up. Don't be don't have no summer babies. Spring babies. Whatever babies. Whatever babies that come after ten months. Don't don't do it.

Kiara (41:59)

Okay.

I was gonna say, is that wait, is

is that a sprink anyway?

Kevelyn (42:11)

That would be very cool. ⁓

Tanesha (42:15)

Same.

Kiara (42:17)

You know, thinking back on our ages and like our actual due dates, I have questions. I'm like, hold up. I was early, so I'm not gonna I'm not gonna hold that. Anyway. What about you, Kevelyn?

Kevelyn (42:27)

Happy holidays.

I say just, I'm not going to say don't do it, just be cautious and recognize it for what it is.

Kiara (42:38)

That's that's some good advice, I feel like. That's some great advice. I mean for me not you over here giggling. What is wrong now?

Tanesha (42:48)

Nothing's

wrong. It's just, you know, we're all pizza of a pot. But somehow me and her are like really like

Kiara (42:53)

Clearly.

no, yeah, out there anyway.

Tanesha (42:59)

So I'm just happy that we're in

a calm space in our lives now. This is great.

Kiara (43:04)

I'm very, very happy to see you guys centered in a lot of ways. ⁓ my advice would be pretty similar to what you guys said, but I also think

Sixty-four percent of these relationships at least last a year. So you know what? Live your life. That's my advice. Live your life. ⁓ don't get burned. So absolutely strap up. You don't want to get burned by nothing because you never know what's on the come up. That or a baby or many other things that are out here. I'm just saying, have fun, live life. You do only live once, but you know, be careful, be cautious. And I think that's an important lesson to learn,

Tanesha (43:22)

Ha ha

You don't wanna get that clap, that's crazy. ⁓

Kiara (43:44)

if this relationship jet was run for you and you've enjoyed a lot of our other ones, we actually have an amazing surprise for you. We're gonna be releasing a book all about relationships, love, and romance,

To you know, set you up for success. Is your current situation working? Should you be on a come up on a summer romance or a summer fling Maybe you should take a sabbatical. I mean, I don't know. But all those answers will be found in our book. So you guys are gonna get the opportunity to dive into the questions that you maybe wish you could have asked us one-on-one. So stay tuned. You guys will see our promo for that book coming up soon. And with that.

I think we learned a lot today. There's a lot of stress, a lot of laughter, a lot of questions that I'm really gonna go back on. I got some notes. It's like I need some I I feel like I was left out some of these stories. So I'm going to do some some deep diving and if appropriate I will be sharing. But I gotta do some deep diving first. ⁓ but we wanna remind you that you can hit that subscribe button anytime.

You can get your fix of all the mama stuff. You can hang out what about our adulting, our relationship content, or you can dive into our wrestling content, because you know we always guess up.

'Cause there's a lot going on in the wrestling verse right now. So tell Tanesha where can they listen to us?

Tanesha (45:12)

You can listen to us on iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Amazon Audible, Pocket Podcast, Apple Podcasts, that's it iHeartRadio, iHeartRadio, YouTube Music, and Spotify.

Kiara (45:30)

That's right. And you can also follow us on Facebook, on Instagram, on TikTok, on YouTube.

on threads. There's a lot of channels. Pretty much anywhere you name it you name it, we are there for the most Twitch also, thank you.

Tanesha (45:42)

Twitch. No, no, we're not we're not

all we're not everywhere. We're just on those particular things. and Patreon. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kiara (45:49)

And

Patreon. You can also join our squad. If you haven't done it yet, then you're you're missing out on Kiara's Monday Night Highlights because that's about to be the only place you get my highlights of my Monday Night Raw. There will be no more blogs exclusive to Monday Night Raw. So if you want to know what Kiara thought were the highlights of Monday Night Raw, my suggestion.

Make sure you join that squad so you get exclusive access. And feel free to pop in the comments and share your thoughts because the way that we have been laughing back and forth with people in the comments of the video section, the way that we've been arguing in a lighthearted, wonderful way on threads, on on any of our chats, on Instagram, if you will. But we also have individual pages. So where can they follow us there, Tanesha

Tanesha (46:38)

So you can follow me, Tanisha at Tanisha underscore Mama Pod on Instagram and in TikTok. You can follow Kiara at Kiara Mama Pod Mama Pod. No underscore no space on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, threads. And you can follow her as contentvixon on Twitter. And Kevelyn, you say I couldn't follow her. So don't try. Okay.

Kiara (46:57)

That's right.

Listen, we're gonna we're gonna make that available soon. Don't worry, it's coming, it's coming. And with that, we wanna say we're not new to this.

Tanesha (47:17)

And we're so true to this. And this was Main Event Mamas. Bye.

Kiara (47:23)

Whoop whoop.