Holiday Hacks & Senior Year Stress: Main Event Mamas Get Real

Tanesha (00:16)
I'm Tanisha.

Kiara (00:18)
And I'm Kiara.

Kevelyn (00:20)
I'm Kevelyn

Tanesha (00:24)
You're now entering the sister chat. Welcome to Main Event Mamas. Woo! I'm a little hypersugar right now.

Kiara (00:30)
I don't know what's happening.

Yep, this is why we try not to do too many late nights. Anyway, welcome back. We have a lot to talk about this episode. But before we get into it, this is our moment to remind you to hit that subscribe button on whichever platform you're currently listening to us on, whether that is YouTube or Spotify.

Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, et cetera, et cetera.

Okay, and with that, how's your week,

Tanesha (01:07)
What just happened?

Kiara (01:11)
I calmly invited people to follow us what's wrong. It's my nighttime voice, you don't like it? No, it's not working for you.

Tanesha (01:15)
Okay.

I don't know,

maybe I'm just too hype right now, cause I'm... Anyway.

Kiara (01:21)
One of us does not have candy. Two of us do not have candy. That's the situation.

Tanesha (01:27)
I while someone had cookies, I don't have no coo- well I did have cookies, they're gone too. Anyway. I'm just hungry.

Kiara (01:37)
same as you were. How was your week, girls?

Tanesha (01:42)
It's been a week.

Kevelyn (01:42)
Mine was

fine. Full week. Can't complain about y'all.

Tanesha (01:49)
I mean, it is a full week, well half a week. I mean, I could complain a lot. could dis- I mean, we'd rather me be this version of me today right now than I was an hour and a half ago. Okay, man, hot. Okay. ⁓

Kiara (01:50)
Nah, I could complain.

you

That's crazy. Anyway, it's been a week. We survived. Yeah, that's it. That's where I am. But it leads into today's discussion because I've had the distinct pleasure of dealing with my senior a lot this week. And my boy, Chow's great. I love him. And he's so brilliant. But it's bringing back PTSD from senior year. That's what I feel like. I feel like I'm getting hit with...

Do you remember when this was you? And I'm super and incredibly grateful to know that I survived that time in my life because everything's stressful for seniors right now, right? Like he just did his SATs last week. Fingers crossed for a fantastic score. Cause I had to tell you, he blew them ACTs out the water. So was like, fingers crossed. Scholarship, scholarship, scholarship. That's what we're aiming for. High marks.

His PSATs were fabulous, so fingers crossed. He only has to it once. I had to tell him I took it three times, and he was like, that's crazy. And I was like, that's what we did back then. Like, it was the best of scores. Whatever you, the highest of each is what they put together. And he was like, that's crazy, mom. I'm only taking it once.

Well, I paid for it, so I determine whether you're gonna pay, you do it more than once.

Tanesha (03:19)
Wait, wait, wait. I ain't gonna lie.

That's smart. He's like, I'm... Yeah, I'm not gonna cause myself that much stress. I'm already stressful. I stress myself out enough. don't even...

Kiara (03:30)
No. He was actually kind of

annoyed to be up because we had to leave early in the morning. And I was like, at least you get up and you're going into a classroom. I had to drive you this early. Then I was in the car. Me and his other mom, we were eye checking each other because both of us are like, what you doing? I don't know. We both here sitting in the car waiting for our teenagers because, you know, they can't leave early. They gotta wait till the is over. So it's very much like

PTSD for me. I went and got an oil change from the best guy ever, take five, did a job, did a job well. I went and stopped by Sheetz, got me some chai tea latte, which was better than my today's Starbucks chai tea latte. And then I also had breakfast. So to be honest, like, you know, wasn't terrible warning. My husband thought I was crazy for not coming back home, but I was like, why would I leave again?

You're ruining the enjoyment of like, I'm not, if I come back home, I'm going back to sleep and then what will he do? How will he get home? Feels wrong, feels wrong. But anyway, with that.

Kevelyn (04:38)
That makes sense.

Kiara (04:40)
feel like, like I said, it gave me PTSD, right? So when we were talking about his stress level, he was basically explaining how like, he's like, I just am in a constant state of stress. And I was like, why? But I kind of get it now, as he explained. He's like, you I got to figure out my life and my tests and like, we got all these other things to figure out. And then I had the distinct pleasure of going back and trying to fill out, you know, application things for the state.

And then FASFA, which is a moment in time that I didn't want to revisit because it's awful and invasive and stressful because you want to make sure you get these numbers right. And I have some complaints to be realistic. So this week, we're going to unpack that a little bit. We're going to unpack the survival guide for senior year, where I talk about college applications a little bit.

And then in our second session, we're going to talk about Thanksgiving because it's coming up fast. And our plans are very different than what they were last year for many of us. Me in particular, because I definitely was aiming to go back to Kefi's house. So I don't have to cook. But alas, alas, we have some changes afoot for all of us to try to navigate the holiday season.

Tanesha (06:03)
Not a, not a less,

a less, a less, a less, at less.

Kiara (06:08)
You can

blame my children. They have me talking old timey this week. Like, we had British accents this morning. I don't know. My husband came downstairs and was like, why are you all talking like this? Like, my daughter's like, mother. That's how she greets me. It's crazy. It's crazy. And then she goes, I was like, Who are you talking to? My drama queen. That's what she is. My theater kid. Anyway.

Kevelyn (06:26)
the place.

It's the place.

Kiara (06:46)
So let's talk about this application process.

So.

will say it felt more intense this time. And I know Tanisha, we all, each of us have kids who are like experiencing this time of their life. But I also kind of want to revisit how we did it and you know, kind of the differences. But it feels like really intense. And I was like, as I was going through his application thing, I came up with some thoughts. Cause I was like, I really wanted to ponder the differences between.

the things that I felt like I had to do and the things that he felt like he had to do. For instance, when we were doing the state application.

don't remember doing that. I didn't have that in Georgia. There was no state application. And in fact, I think my mother, I can't remember how we did it, because I feel like we must have done it together, but in this process it's very much a part. So I want to talk about the biggest difference I've noticed in terms of the experience for him, because he comes to me.

but this paper and he goes, mom, I need your assistance. I put that thing off for like five days. I'm not gonna lie. I was like, everything about this seems like I'm gonna be looking at paperwork and numbers. It's kind of how I feel about taxes because I don't wanna do them either, but I'm good at them and I do them. I have thoughts, but that's a whole nother. We're go off topic here a little bit, but the biggest difference I noticed was that

there was parts that he had to fill in and then there were parts that I had to fill in. And I don't remember that experience from when it was our turn to go to college, right? Like I feel like he filled in his part, but he sat next to me the entire time and he was like, mom, what do I say? I was like, that's crazy. Cause I don't think I even did that. I just filled it out to the best of my ability and moved on. So there was a lot of stress of like, what are these numbers? When did we move here? Right? Cause you know,

I kind of had that same experience when I was growing up. moved to Georgia after my freshman year. But it was so invasive. felt like I had to put my driver's license information in there. I was like, this is a lot. So that was a big difference I noticed that I felt like it was my taxes all over again. Like it was just like, why are you asking me so many questions? It feels like I live here. I have a residence here. What more do you need from me? So that was the biggest difference I noticed.

As you guys are looking at this, have you encountered any differences that you kind of want to talk about? Is it giving you PTSD like it's giving me PTSD? Making me want to enjoy a true serum on the sly, just to be honest.

Tanesha (09:41)
I I would say that right now, I guess maybe because both of us are going, well, you know what? I would say both of us are going to school, but my son told me he may want to take a year off. And I kind of looked at him and was like, well, what you gonna do on that year off? And he said, He said work. I said, okay, well, as long as you know you're gonna work. I said, I'm okay with it.

Kiara (10:04)
right there.

Tanesha (10:10)
But then we had to have hard conversations about the college that he really wanted to to and how much those things cost.

So it was one of those like, just so you are aware, you know, this school costs about 26,000 and his face went, thousand? I was like, yeah, yeah, it's not cheap, homie, it's not cheap. I said, and if we add dorm, because he wants to ultimately have that experience. I was like, if you want a dorm, that's an additional 23,000.

Kiara (10:44)
Or don't?

Tanesha (10:46)
Yes, for the year though. But yeah. Which will make sense because I live in New York. It makes sense. But, because it's like an apartment, like they gotta walk. But still.

Kiara (10:49)
Each year? Okay, okay.

Mine was

like that.

Tanesha (11:03)
Yeah, but I guess if they, cause his, the campus, that campus is spread out. So was like, he's on this street over here, then you gotta walk couple other blocks and come over here and then go over here. So it's not like the true campus style. Like if Hampton or, you know, ⁓ Morgan State and those schools.

Kiara (11:27)
wherever you were.

Tanesha (11:31)
Yeah, you know, everywhere else out of New York City. The campus is actually a campus. I think Columbia is the only one that's maybe a true campus for real for real. And then like Long Island, then theirs is like campuses. But, and Westchester, because Westchester, I went to Westchester Community College and I was...

Kiara (11:47)
Okay.

Tanesha (11:53)
that was a campus. Like I went from one building over here and then walked across the grass and went to the other building over here. That was only time I really got like, you know, oh, this is a con. Okay. But anyway, to answer the question. So I haven't done the FAFSA form for him yet. And I need to redo mine because last year it was just like the regular FAFSA that I'm used to. And then speaking with you to find out that it's a little different. I haven't done that.

Kiara (12:22)
It is

just different.

Tanesha (12:24)
But I will say New York does have where you had the state one. And I had that when I was growing up. Well, when I was, I had that. So it was to help, maybe not the first two years, but when I came back from Virginia and I went back to school, they had it. So it's called TAP. So that was supposed to help supplement.

the Pell Grant if you were able to get one or maybe you couldn't get the Pell Grant but you got the tap and I think that was like

Kiara (12:59)
I

see. Okay. So it was like, yeah, no. When I say the end state.

Tanesha (13:02)
Yeah, so it's to help start,

it? Mm-hmm.

Kiara (13:06)
It's not, it's just, all it does is establish your eligibility for in-state tuition. Like they don't actually give you, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tanesha (13:14)
⁓ Okay, Yeah, no this

this gives no so this gives so our in-state we have where you have That's for in-state, so that's actually for in-state people you can't do it out state you can't get tap That's for you actually being in-state. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm from what I remember and from what I did last year

Kiara (13:24)
and state like funds.

⁓

Interesting.

Tanesha (13:40)
is for like the end state. it's pretty much, it's another way for pretty much New York state to encourage the kids to stay in New York.

Kiara (13:48)
but giving them funds. That's actually really smart. I never thought about that. The only thing I knew about Georgia ⁓ and with NC is that they reduce your tuition somewhat, right? You get the rates, but that was going on long before, right?

Tanesha (13:53)
You know, and just like.

⁓

I mean, I think, yes, but I think also.

I don't know, to be honest. don't really know. Because like we talked about in the last time we talked about colleges in the beginning, when they first was like, we got to think about it. I remember my mom paid for college the first two years because she made more because she worked for the state. So that's why I don't remember if there was. It became once because.

Kiara (14:26)
this way.

Tanesha (14:37)
As you guys fill these things out, especially if you're a ⁓ to consider as independent, they have to have a child or been living on their own, and been proving that they're living on their own, or 21, for you to be able not to really have your parents file for you. then I will sit here and take that back. I don't know if it was not a TAP form or not, because my mom is the one who did those forms.

Kiara (15:02)
Okay.

Tanesha (15:05)
And back then I think wasn't it paper back then? So I don't even so yeah, so she did all those forms so truthfully there could have been one but because she did not qualify because she made more money and it was technically just me in the household because my brothers were gone They were like you don't get nothing you need to pay and my mom literally paid The 15 and she got a loan I was able to get a loan

Kiara (15:09)
Yes, it was, in fact.

Interesting.

Tanesha (15:35)
and the loan helped me pay for school the second year or the second semester or whatever. So yeah, so I know I will probably eventually see the new forms and try to figure it out and understand whatever frustration you were feeling because I have to fill it out for me. But I think right now, think the good, we are in a toss up, but even if he does go back, he's gonna probably go to community colleges right now into.

Kiara (15:52)
That was real.

Tanesha (16:04)
Which is not what I want him to do. I'd rather him go straight into a four year, but I think for him to even, I think I should commend him for even knowing, hey, you know what? I want to take a moment. Because not all of us do that. We'd be like, all right, let's go. For him to be like, you know, I think I really want to take a second and just take a year off and then go to school. Because he still wants to go to school. And this is a child who I thought who never wanted to go to college. So it took him to

take that course for him to change his mind. But like I said, so I think I will definitely feel what you're feeling about the forums because I'm probably going to get lost and I'm gonna need your help since you already did it.

Kiara (16:53)
Wait, what?

Tanesha (16:55)
You see how I segued in that? I'm gonna need your help because I may throw my computer if it's that frustrating or that confusing how you're making it seem. See, yeah, see?

Kiara (16:59)
That's wild.

want it to.

I wanted

to. I wanted to throw my computer. also, you said a couple things I want to revisit and we're going to come back to that. But, yes, it's, it was very invasive, but I feel like it was probably invasive before, right? And maybe, and you mentioned some, things that kind of got me one thinking like I went out of state, so I don't know if there was an in-state like component that I just ignored because when I came back in the state,

Tanesha (17:30)
Mm-hmm.

Kiara (17:35)
It was just, you just wrote, live here. Like it wasn't, you know what mean? Like it just wasn't as deep as prove that your parents live here. But I will also tell you, they do have this thing on the fast, but now where you're, can say that your parent does not want to fill it out. There was a box that says, is your parent resistant and filling this out? And I was like, or that they don't want to, or.

Tanesha (17:53)
Okay, that's good.

Not resisted, whoa.

Kiara (18:01)
There's something, the terminology, I don't know if it's like resistant or that your parent refuses to fill it out. There's something there. Me and my husband had a whole conversation about it because he was like, when he went to school, his mom was like, I'm not filling out nothing. So.

Tanesha (18:16)
I mean, there's some people that's out there, like, I'm not filling this out either because they feel like it's invasive. That's you asking me too much in my personal business and that's none of your business. Either you gonna help or you not gonna help, like.

Kiara (18:23)
Or they don't feel like they're gonna contribute anything.

Yeah, or they're not gonna contribute anything. There's parents who are like, I'm not doing it right, so I'm not doing it anyway, so don't worry about it, you to go off your own merits. Or your own financial situation, because I'm not going to support you in that. So I just thought, I thought that was an interesting note, that there was a box now that was like, your parent refuses to participate in this process. Which I was like, that's crazy, I didn't, you know.

Tanesha (18:28)
Anyway, so why should it

Kiara (18:52)
I wanted to check that box, but I felt like that was a disservice for him. And it's mean. My mom didn't.

What about you, Kevelyn

Kevelyn (19:00)
Well, my experience from when I was doing it, it's a lot more invasive now, I think, with what they're asking than what they asked before. Which I don't know why that is. I don't know if it's.

Kiara (19:16)
don't either.

Tanesha (19:17)
They just wanna be all up in your business.

Kevelyn (19:19)
Well, maybe

I don't know whether it's because they're trying to get more of a picture of how much you can truly contribute versus before. don't think if you like if you want if you want to write ⁓ position like you were saying there's some parents that just don't want to contribute anything. But I mean if your child is under the age of 18.

Tanesha (19:28)
Mmm, okay.

what you want to.

Kiara (19:38)
That's real.

Kevelyn (19:49)
I mean, you kinda have to fill it out.

Kiara (19:52)
Or even if they are 18. My thing is like, you're, cause you know, my child's 18, but my thing is like, he's still, I understand that you classify as an adult, but this child is still on my insurance. You know what I'm This child is still in my household. I am still purchase, I am still supporting said child. So I can't, you know what I mean? Like, and even when I was 18,

Kevelyn (20:02)
but not for real.

Yeah, right.

Kiara (20:18)
I moved out of my house, but all my financial stuff came from my mom, right? Like, hey, I need money. Could you send me money? Even though I was working, I definitely needed help with paying for things. But yeah, there's a good point to be had about why it's so invasive and whether they want to ⁓ get a better picture. But I'm gonna argue against that a little bit because when I was filling out, so the other part of the stress, so the first part of it was this.

ridiculous application, right? But the second part is this deadline, right? So you have to make sure it's all filled out by a certain time. And I feel like it gets a little dicey with ⁓ kids and their own current obligations with school and things like that and trying to figure out when all this stuff has to get done. Because it's kind of difficult to try to figure out. I just feel like, yep.

Tanesha (21:14)
Hence why you're gonna help me. You're gonna help me.

Help me.

Kiara (21:18)
with a glass of something really big because, ⁓

Tanesha (21:21)
That's fine. We will

do it together.

Kiara (21:25)
It was a lot. I was very upset. I do our taxes. So my husband's like, you got this. And I was like, pour it in this glass. It was a lot. But I felt kind of frustrated in that I realized that the fast-foot is basically a snapshot in the past. So it's your previous two years ago from your financial information. A lot can change in two years.

and hacks, okay?

Tanesha (21:55)
And I felt

like that wasn't even a case. I thought it was like what it was a year before. So why does it matter what it was two years ago? Because that's like, it can change within two years. I mean, definitely for both of us, we both were laid off. Two years ago, we had a job. And ⁓ last year, we did it. Like we did or we didn't.

Kiara (22:13)
And this year I don't,

again. I'm like, excuse me, trying to tell y'all something. It's okay, y'all know we'll be talking about, when we midnight confessions, that'll be part of that conversation. But I don't again. And so now we're in a situation of, well, three years ago, my income was significant. This year, it's not as significant. So how is that going to be reflected in the contribution for me to continue to like pay because frankly,

Tanesha (22:17)
I wasn't trying to put your business out there. I wasn't trying to put your business out there.

Kiara (22:44)
We're trying to live. I don't know how I'm gonna pay for that. But then, I also wanna dive into a little bit further, we looked up the tuition for the schools that he was talking about, which we had, I felt like before, but it got real real when everything was over six figures. I was like, wait, so four years at the state college is over $120,000? Like.

No, my entire undergraduate degree.

Kevelyn (23:14)
That's insane.

Tanesha (23:16)
Yeah, is that in state that's in state?

Kiara (23:20)
Yes it is in fact, in state.

That wasn't even, that was insane.

Tanesha (23:24)
Is that including

the dorms?

Kiara (23:26)
believe it may. But here's the thing, I remember my fan- so I remember the other part which is also kind of cool and a little dicey is that because you fill this stuff out in the past they keep you on the same- your information is already in the system, right? Just remember I went to school twice so I definitely- my undergraduate- how much I paid for my undergraduates in there, how much I paid for my graduate degree is in there, because it you know it tells you how much you- your loans or whatever came to your package.

Tanesha (23:26)
Cause that's crazy.

Kiara (23:57)
Why was that more than I spent the entire time? That was two degrees. That was two degrees.

Tanesha (24:03)
Wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait. You're saying your two degrees is less than what the current rate of four years of college is in states down there.

Kiara (24:14)
Yes, ma'am.

Yes, ma'am.

Tanesha (24:17)
What?

Kiara (24:19)
Yes. And that was, I felt some kind of way.

Tanesha (24:21)
That's

crazy.

Kiara (24:24)
That's what I said. I said the cost of college is a whole situation here. Thank God. I was like, we need, I really sat down and I was like, we need to really discuss how we're going to figure this out because I don't want you to feel like I felt when I graduated from college and I was like, I mean, I'll pay it later, but it's almost like it didn't click till later how much money you were going to be in debt. So now I understand.

Tanesha (24:47)
Mm-hmm.

Kiara (24:50)
the cost of tuition, everything is, it can feel unattainable. And so even looking at the financial aid that they are offering and things like that, and what's going on politically and economically, it's like, bam, we might have to go about this a different way. And so we had to have a really important conversation about, listen, yes, I know you are brilliant and I hope your scores are what they should be so you can get admitted and you can qualify for some of these scholarships.

Tanesha (25:07)
Mm-hmm.

Kiara (25:20)
We're also going to have to dig into scholarships in general and we will give you a list. ⁓ We love y'all out there. We don't want y'all to be out here like us scrambling. So we will give you a list as well at the end of this episode. We'll take you to a blog post with that information. But it was just an immensely stressful moment when you realize the true cost of things now and how that differentiates and how I felt like this kid is bright. He can offer so much.

Tanesha (25:23)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Kiara (25:50)
to the world. He's not just going to college because he doesn't know what to do next, right? It's just, he's brilliant and he needs this kind of training that will hopefully set him up. But you don't want to pay so much that you're under burden for the rest of your life, like the rest of us, trying to figure that out. Like as we are, you you don't want to be 70 years old trying to figure out how are we going pay for this. And so there's definitely that pressure.

Now, and so when he was talking to me about being stressed, was like, yes, I too am stressed looking at this information and I don't have an answer for you. I'm going to go watch wrestling is how I'm going to relax. I don't know what you're going to do. I suggest you go play a video game. But there are things we might have to consider. Like, should he go to, for instance, you talked about community college, right? You can reduce a lot of costs.

Tanesha (26:40)
Mm-hmm.

Kiara (26:44)
often if you start at a community college and you take your like core classes at community college and then you can transfer. And North Carolina is very easy to transfer to other ⁓ colleges in the system after doing your core classes for your undergraduate. So they do have a lot of programs like that. There's also some schools that offer free tuition based on financial information based on your annual

Tanesha (26:49)
Mm-hmm.

experience.

Kiara (27:15)
money that you make, I can't think of the word for it now, your salary or your household income. That's the word I'm thinking of. So there are, was like, we're gonna have to get real creative. That's what I feel like, to figure this out. But it felt like it was unattainable. I was like, if you are somebody who does not know this information, is not able to easily access this information, this must be like, over your head. Cause I was in the struggle bus. I was like, I, looks like we're gonna be looking for some opportunities.

Tanesha (27:25)
Mm-hmm.

Kiara (27:45)
here to supplement your education so that you're not working 24 seven and trying to manage all of this at the same time. So it was just that that was a reflection of like maybe the state of things and maybe opportunities to look at ways to make it more affordable for people because the way that a lot of these companies are set up for the future, if you want to get into corporate America, you really have to have it agree like

There was a time where they were like, we're not doing that anymore, but we have surpassed that time.

because everybody's like, I'm sorry, what's your degree? Hi, do you qualify? And there's so many people in the job market, don't take me down that. That is a little, it's very competitive. So it is a different world that we live in and to be able to properly set up your children, I feel like it requires a much deeper dive than it did when we just decided to go to college. You know what mean? It was like, well, what are you gonna do? I'm gonna go to college. I didn't feel like I had to stress myself out as much as.

looking now at his potential past. Anybody want to dive into that a little bit, have thoughts and feelings want to share about that?

Tanesha (28:58)
I

okay, good, Kevi. I Kevelyn

Kevelyn (29:03)
No, I was just going to

say you also have to take into account the type of degree as well. they're getting because a lot of times you have to look at the we were talking about looking at the career path that these degrees can get you because going to school for psychology, which is what I started with. ⁓

Kiara (29:07)
100%.

Mm-hmm.

Kevelyn (29:24)
It's not a whole lot you could do with just a associate's or a bachelor's degree in psychology. You got to get your masters and go even further than that sometimes just to get something that's going to be lucrative enough to sustain, especially in this economy today. Or trying to go to school for other types of arts or anything like that. You just have to.

Kiara (29:42)
Right.

Kevelyn (29:53)
really consider what they want to do in this economy if it's going to make sense for them going forward.

Kiara (29:59)
Yeah, I

agree with that. I definitely think we started talking about that a few years ago, which was a little frustrating in that sense. Like I remember again, taking you back to my past. I was like, I'm going to be a journalist. Then I went to college and I met, had a roommate whose parents were journalists and they were like, no, you don't want this life. They were like, you don't want the smoke. You ain't going to be making no money. You're going to be broke all the time and you're going to be stressed out. And I was like, oh, well, I need to rethink this situation.

which enabled me to kind of start to think about that. Like what else can I do in this realm? I remember going to the student services and looking up my degree and looking up the different career paths and the potential earnings for each of them. And that's how I ended up netting into public relations actually. I was like, oh, that might be something fun. Now I didn't initially pursue it. I still graduated with a degree.

and journalism, but by switching schools, I made sure I had a concentration in public relations because I knew that that was a career path I was interested in going. But when it came to both of my kids, we've already had this conversation. Like, the tech world is very different. It's shifting. So do not go to school for something that just is AI specific. I would like to get a degree in AI. No, you don't. That's my answer. I'm like, it changes so much every day.

that if you go get a degree in something like artificial intelligence, whatever, it's going to be obsolete by the time you finish because it's changing so significantly. This is like back in the day when we got degrees and people were like, I'm going to get a marketing degree in social media. Don't do that because look at how much social media changed in just a brief period of time. You need to kind of find a happy medium between what you like and what will ultimately be lucrative for your future.

But again, again leads us back to thinking about long-term prospects and doing a ton more research. And again, we just went to school. Right? Like, I don't think I narrowed it down to what I really wanted to do until junior year. I was like, yeah, I want to be a writer. But then again, I met my her parents and I had thoughts and feelings. then junior year, I was like, I think I need to get serious about this. ⁓ And then I had to decide how far to go.

Tanesha (32:04)
Mm-hmm.

Kiara (32:23)
Like, do you want to stop at your bachelor's? Do you want to go get a master's? Because that was not initially in my plan either. But I was like, it was very difficult for me to get into the field. So I decided to pursue a master's degree while I was working. Not necessarily in the same field, but with transferable skills. But it took like six, seven years to get into the field.

that you had to be flexible to be like, okay, I have to take a job that's not necessarily what I study, right? So there was just a lot to consider. And so I try to keep that information in mind when I'm talking to both my kids. I'm like, what do you want to go for? How can we curtail that in a way that it's not obsolete and that we try to look at opportunities for the future? Because like I said, the tech space is very different than when we were growing up where you're like, I'm just going to look at computer science and what else?

What else? Do you want to go into cybersecurity? Do you want to go into like game design? Do you want to go into what exactly? And I know we talked about this briefly kind of offline, like if you want to be an art student, that's a beautiful thing. What is your plan for that degree though? And I feel like you need to try to narrow into what that plan would be so you can know what to expect for your life, right? So that you're not just like, I went to school for this and I never used it and I hate it.

look like and now I'm nowhere near it so I feel like there's some of that. Tanisha, it looked like you wanted to say something.

Tanesha (33:54)
don't remember.

Sorry, know and it's not your fault, Kevi. I just don't remember. There's too much happening in the back. hear hear yelling Water, I don't know what's going on. So I don't remember what I'm gonna say. ⁓ well, I will say I'll touch the topic Because we were talking I mean

I can definitely tell you I haven't looked up in a while what my son wants to be in with the prospects of it. Because like you said, everything fluctuates, right? And of course, I feel like the field that he wants to be in, you have to know the right people. Or, well of course, me, I don't know right people for everything. But even...

Kiara (34:35)
For everything, you gotta know the right people these days.

Tanesha (34:43)
Because it wants to be, you know, when you're trying to find the right, because when you're trying to find the right niche, it's something that's supposed to be important to you, right? Because I feel like people just go to school just to say, went to school, and they just pick something just so they're in school, and then they don't use it, or they may think that they're going to do everything, right? And it just doesn't pan out that way. How me, that's a story for millions of people, right?

like people have there's not many who has a degree and it's actually working in the field that they have the degree for and ⁓ so i never did that with with my oldest however i'll look again just to see where it goes but because

I want to be able to survive, right? ⁓ And unfortunately in this world, we have to have a degree to survive or be really, really, really smart and can prove how smart we are with what we do. ⁓ Where the degree doesn't matter, right? But like you said, it's starting to matter because at one point it did go away. And then that's why I'm going back to school for my bachelor's because I'm like, the associate doesn't do anything. They don't know.

They don't care about you having an associate. That doesn't mean nothing to them anymore. that, the one thing I will say, touch on, and I think this is what I wanted to say, was going to school. The things that I know now and what I would have did then, I definitely probably would have, especially realizing how competitive trying to be in the vet tech program at the school that I picked.

I probably would have never did it. I probably would have just went in, been generalized, or would have found a couple of trade schools that are vet technology, veterinarian technology, that you would pay a good portion. It was a significant, like 30,000, maybe less than, but that's what I remember. And then...

been there, everything was covered. think room aboard was covered. Everything was covered and you just be, and you get your degree within two years. Like you're already in the program. I didn't find that out until after I had my Otus. And at that point it was like, well, we can't really do that. That's a lot of money. But if I knew that before then, I probably would have did that.

Kiara (37:05)
Wow.

Tanesha (37:23)
Because the lease is getting me straight into the program. Because that's the other thing too, a lot of these colleges don't let you get straight into program. You gotta do all these extra remedial, because they gotta make sure they get their money. So you gotta do all these extra remedial stuff, or get all these other things before you even get to the core of your program. And normally the core of the program is not even till your third year. You spent all two years just doing all this other stuff for fluff.

Kiara (37:41)
That is, yeah.

Tanesha (37:52)
And now the last two years of college, here you are.

or even like even.

Kiara (37:57)
I mean, I would argue

that I don't think it's love because so this is one of the things I mentioned to my son, my child, was that the courses that are not your core courses, so the additional kind of like extra courses, I mean, I'm sorry, or your core courses. So your English, your math, those things, they feel, I don't necessarily feel like they were remedial, but they were definitely like.

why do I have to know this? But in dealing with a lot of people in the workforce who can't write a sentence, who can't do simple math.

Some of that is necessary, I feel like. I feel like you do need to learn how to communicate. You do need to know how to shoot an email together that is cohesive and grammatically correct, right? You do need to be able to do simple math. Like, I work so many hours, I make so much money annually. This is what my salary's supposed to be. This is how much my benefits are deducted. There's some simple math that you need to know. So I feel like some of those things feel

Tanesha (38:41)
yeah, I was talking about that being.

Kiara (39:07)
Not necessary in the moment, but they are. That's what I'm going to say there.

Tanesha (39:12)
But I wasn't talking about that. I wasn't talking about that. I'm talking about when they want you to do all these extra electives that is not necessary for anything else. It's just to build you up until you get there. That's the one thing why I liked when I went to, I did an online course or online school down in Texas. It put me straight into the program. It was like, you just need make sure before you graduate, you need to make sure you did all your course.

because you ain't gonna graduate if you don't do that. But let me go ahead and here you go, one, two, three, four, here's your four classes that are going straight into the program versus I have to do all these other things to get there. That was the one thing I think, ⁓ and I guess sometimes yes, ⁓ certain things do make sense. Like if you need to go to ⁓ chemistry,

Well, no, maybe not. But if you want to go to biochemistry, need to actually have biology and chemistry. But some things didn't make sense. Not for me when I was going, because I was like, why do I need to take this class, take this class? That don't make no sense. Because these two to me don't mean they don't like their co. Yeah, like biology and ⁓ my God, anatomy. To me, they're like.

Kiara (40:26)
direct correlation to Likert.

Tanesha (40:39)
co-together like I'm learning the same thing that I learned here over here and it's like they either have me work them together but you know but it was how it's also how college is structured structured for them to make money so you know I'm not saying people shouldn't have English or math because she definitely should have English or math just to be able to but just the other stuff

is what I'm saying is the fluff like the electives you need to make sure you have a music class what is that going to do for me in my degree that it has nothing to do with music know what I'm that type of stuff

Kiara (41:13)
hear

you, but I disagree because I feel like the electives, I felt like that made me a better, a more rounded person. I feel like sometimes when you grow up in certain backgrounds, you don't get exposure to certain things, right? So Spanish was good because it helped you with culture and with language. ⁓ I took religion, I ended up minoring religion because I just thought it was fascinating. ⁓ Did it have anything to do with anything? It just made me write more. ⁓

Tanesha (41:16)
That's fine.

Mm. Mm-hmm. yeah.

Kiara (41:43)
But I also feel like as a person, it helped me think about things differently. And now as I reflect on some of those courses, like ⁓ I took a random class about women in West Africa, which changed my life. Like I learned so much about the culture and West African culture and what those women were dealing with and how society, was different than how, you know, things that we were dealing with in some of our issues. And it helped me

expand my mind in a lot of ways. And I think that's what those electives are built for. They're to like make you a more well-rounded person. Now fair enough, I'm sure it don't work for everybody. And I think you have to have the mentality to be like, okay, this is interesting. ⁓ But I loved learning all the different things. They were all each new, different. I took astronomy. Why?

because I needed that course to graduate. I needed one of the sciences to graduate and it was a cool course to the point where now like when my child was taking astronomy, I could be like, this is what I learned. We could like geek out together a little bit. So I feel like one of the things that college is supposed to do is not just prepare you for your field, but also make you a much more well-rounded, educated person. That is not necessarily, that's not always going to be learn this for the job.

Like I feel like tech schools, they're built to teach you for the job, right? But a lot of jobs now I feel like have on the job training. There's things that you're going to have to learn at every job you go to because there's just things specific to that company. But when it comes to talking to people from different areas and different cultures and different backgrounds, having that basis of like experiences and electives and concepts and topics that may come up, may not come up.

allow you to be on that same kind of playing field rather than being like, have no idea. I didn't study that. I didn't learn it. I don't know what stars are, but I can tell you all about the Odyssey or I can tell you all about the books I read. I think we were playing a game earlier where we were talking about ⁓ movies from like the 1970s. Now, why did I know what this movie particular thing was? Because I wasn't alive. ⁓ I watched it in this class and I'm able to correlate that to

other topics of conversation. So when I say that, feel like some of those electives are created not just as a money grab, probably. I'm not going to say it's not at all a money grab because, you they got to pay for their, their establishment some way. But I also think that when it comes to being a college graduate, you're supposed to be a much more cultured and refined and educated person in all aspects, which is why like,

I chose liberal arts colleges because I wanted that experience to be able someone who can understand arts and culture differently, right? So that's how I think about it. ⁓ Just different.

And I feel like that helped me in a lot of places in life and having conversations with people from different areas. definitely think it cultivated my love of Spanish even more and allowed me to experience, connect with people differently. That makes sense.

Tanesha (44:51)
interesting.

It does.

Kiara (45:12)
What do think, Kevelyn

Kevelyn (45:18)
⁓ I mean, I get where you're coming from, Tanisha, in terms of the, just for instance, like trying to go back to school probably about 10 years ago now for nursing and having to do all of the prerequisites.

Tanesha (45:39)
Yeah.

Kevelyn (45:39)
then

getting the prerequisites done. But then you go back, like I obviously didn't finish, you know, went to real estate school and all, you know, long story, long story, but trying to get back into it. A lot of that stuff you have to retake, which is crazy. ⁓ Even if you took it, got good grades and it was 10 years ago, you got to, it has to be like,

Tanesha (45:56)
Mm-hmm.

Kiara (45:57)
That's annoying. I will admit that.

Tanesha (46:05)
That like, is over, 10 years, you don't know

Kiara (46:08)
That's right.

Tanesha (46:08)
nothing.

Kevelyn (46:09)
It's crazy, right? I remember

Kiara (46:09)
Yeah, that is crazy.

Kevelyn (46:11)
that. And you have to like take it within the last five years, especially like anatomy, physiology, some of the biology classes, like those that you have to retake them. ⁓ And so I think that some of it is kind of, I can get where you're saying like,

Now get it, I get nursing, know, there's a lot to it. And they want to make sure that you're up on game and there's some things change and I get it. But I'm sure it's not like that for every degree. You know what I mean? And so I do get what you're saying in terms of like, it just makes it really difficult when you're trying to get into a field and you have like two years of prerequisites before you ever get to a nursing class. ⁓ Especially when you already have a degree.

Tanesha (46:54)
Mm-hmm.

Kevelyn (46:59)
and you're trying to revamp or go back to school for something different. So I do get it. And then I also get the purposes of the extracurricular to make you a well-rounded student and make you a little bit more educated and make you just, I think it just causes you to be able to relate to the world more, people more when you know just a little bit more, a little extra.

⁓ than just the core and basic things. I mean, I get both sides, but it can be very frustrating.

Kiara (47:36)
do think that's right. There is a lot of frustration. I do think that's exactly right. Because I do remember that, like having to go back and be like, gotta take this class again. And it hadn't been like five years. It was just, oh, you only took half of this with your brief. Ma'am, this half was double the stuff that you're asking me to do again. That I do feel like was annoying when you're like, oh, take English again, ma'am. I took 101.

Kevelyn (47:37)
In a way.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Kiara (48:04)
and 102. Well, there's 103. Are you kidding me?

Tanesha (48:08)
Like, Winning 103 have to be a part of it. That's the other thing, when you look at the requirements to graduate, it says that, especially when it comes to English, you need just two Englishes. Everything else could be extra. And when they throw it on you, you're looking like...

When we look at the guidelines that y'all set forth, right? You see these? It says I only need two. And if I got the two, I don't need the third. But I remember that.

Kiara (48:36)
But they're quick to be like,

Kevelyn (48:37)
What guidelines can

Kiara (48:37)
nope.

Kevelyn (48:38)
change?

Kiara (48:38)
That's not our curriculum. like, I'm not. Oof, that was annoying. Well, lesson.

Kevelyn (48:42)
Right. Don't switch schools in the middle of a degree. Don't do it.

Don't do it.

Kiara (48:49)
Or make sure

if you switch schools, you switch schools that you got to compare the curriculum. You got to prepare yourself to find out what credits move over and what don't. Because I definitely want to throw things because going from a private to a public from one state to another state. I wanted to fight. But even watching my husband go from a tech school to a different tech school to a different tech school and then be like, yeah, half of that don't come over. I was like, we've got to do that.

So I just wasted money.

Tanesha (49:19)
That's the most frustrating

part too when they be like, this don't count. And you be like, so these whole 30 credits don't count? Like not at all. Like zero. Like I just.

Kevelyn (49:33)
and don't let your GPA slip.

Kiara (49:35)
Ma'am.

Talk about it. Talk about it. Even with extenuating circumstances, like I was in a car accident. Ma'am, we hear you, but you need to prove how much I am. I can prove I was in this car accident. Well, the best we can do is just let you know we are not going to put you on academic probation, but you still got to take all those classes. I was like, bet.

Kevelyn (49:42)
Don't do it.

can't breathe.

Tanesha (49:51)
but you need to, yeah.

Kevelyn (50:04)
Mm.

Kiara (50:05)
That was awesome. You should have saw my credit hours when I was a senior. It was insane. They were like, have way, you have more than enough credits to graduate. I'm well aware, but you still made me take different courses that you said I needed to take to graduate.

Tanesha (50:06)
or when I tell you.

Kiara (50:19)
Yeah, I'm sorry. Still got PTSD about.

Tanesha (50:21)
But

see, that's the other thing too. That's the other thing. They don't, I think that's another reason why I left.

the first LaGuardia, whatever, I don't care. I left LaGuardia because I went back doing great. My grades were going up and I was trying to get back into the program, because I never actually got in the program. That's the other thing, I never really actually got in the program. You gotta do all this stuff and then apply. Even though was my major, I still had to apply to get into the program. And it was like, so now I'm going, they're like, yeah, no.

Kiara (50:47)
That's crazy.

Tanesha (50:59)
Well, your GPA needs to be a 3.5 or 4. I said, well, if you see my GPA is a 3. Well, no, no, no, no. We use what you did. I said, when I was 18? You couldn't use what I did when I was. Yeah, no, we got it every. I said, but why? I said, but why? This is, that don't count. That was many years ago.

Kiara (51:13)
That's right.

Kevelyn (51:17)
all of it is a cumulative war.

Kiara (51:18)
Yep. Heal is him, yep.

Tanesha (51:27)
You know, unfortunately because of how competitive, I said, if you tell me competitive one more time about why I can't get in, don't make no sense. And then at that moment I said, yeah, I can't come back here no more. You're gonna do this because y'all ridiculous. Y'all take advantage of the fact that y'all the only ones in the city that does a vet tech program, which is crazy. Because you're the only one in the city. There's other schools out here in New York that does it.

Kiara (51:51)
That's crazy.

Tanesha (51:55)
It's like it's not that competitive. Don't make no sense. But yeah, no, I get it. Yeah. Yeah.

Kiara (51:56)
was crazy.

That's crazy. I can't even imagine.

is... Yeah, didn't... You know what? I'm like, did I have to apply to get into... I think so. Because at the time, Georgia State was transitioning to like the competitive place of Islam. And there were several... You had to get your credits and then you had to like meet with your advisor and basically kind of do it that way. Like you had to be like, I'm headed towards this and they have to just check to make sure you had all of these.

requirements to head into that program. But I was like, I don't think it was a formal application process. I would have lost my crap. It was definitely that way for graduate school, but definitely not for undergraduate. Graduate school was like, will we take you on? We need to figure this out. And I was like, that's crazy because it's too much money. But anyway, to wrap all of that up, there's a lot of college stuff going on here. There's a lot of college stuff. So be prepared to hear me complain about this until and beyond May.

Because I am already sick of it right now as I am stressed. I'm like, can we get these scores back? I mean, that's just what I'm looking forward to is getting these scores. I know, but I was awful. I wanted to know my scores immediately. I was awful at it. Because you also have to know, you need to know some of yourself when you're doing applications. That's the thing. This is why I also did my early. just saying, I did my

Tanesha (53:07)
He just took them.

Kiara (53:27)
So just be prepared to hear me complain about that from now until East Jesus because I'm never, it's a lot I'm going through. And that being said, like we do want to give you some quick tips to survive this because it's a lot. So first and foremost, check your deadlines because your children will probably not tell you when they actually are. And even though they think they're adults,

they don't know what they're talking about a lot and they think they can just decide to go whenever they want to. For instance, his SAT was supposed to be starting at eight, I believe, but he was like, he put something on my calendar for 745 and I was like, so you're giving me 15 minutes to get there. And he goes, yeah, they're not locking the doors to eight. Well, thank you for accounting for the fact that I have to roll out of bed, get in the car, start the car and drive there. I mean, you know, so just a thought.

account for deadlines, not just for tests, but also for applications. Make sure you double check them because your student may be wrong. Secondly, file your FAFSA early because make sure your taxes are completed and that's, do the checklist because you're going to want to get all that information so you're not scrambling around like we are trying to figure out the pieces that go together. I'm glad I keep all my taxes in a nice box carefully.

⁓ curated, filed, and sealed so I can find the information. And then lastly, breathe because it is a process and one that takes a while and you may feel frustrated and your child may be frustrated. It's important to really just be there for each other and just take a moment to, I would say enjoy this time, but I don't know if I would call it that, but I would just say at least work through that kind of circumstance.

And then lastly, just a little Kiara tip, college is not the only option. There are many other things you can do besides going to college. There's many ways to get there without necessarily occurring ridiculous amount of debt. Just look into your options, Look into your options, look into potentially going to, like we talked about a community college for a couple years and transferring over, look into how that might work, look into.

something Tanisha mentioned, maybe working for a year before you decide to go. Be realistic about that opportunity and whether that's something you think that will happen. Because I know if I took a year off, I might have just dipped forever and never came back. So I went right into it. But I know other people just need that time to de-stress. That's your Kiara tip. All right.

Tanesha (56:10)
Especially since

we just finished talking about senior year being stressful. So yeah, they would.

Kiara (56:14)
because

oof, I'm stressed already. I gotta go back to back. I gotta have another child do this next year. So when y'all see me out here looking crazy next week, I might be looking, you know, for the next year I might be skinny because I'm gonna be at the gym. That's what happened. Working out my demons. All right, and with that, let's move on to our adulting

Tanesha (56:16)
Okay, but I just wanted to add that in there, because you said that I was like, I had

Kiara (56:45)
Alright, let's talk holidays, sister ladies. As I mentioned, we're going through a particular transition in my household. And so we're on the hunt for new opportunities, which is not terrible. I mean, to be transparent, you I have a business and so I'm excited about exploring more consulting work. But typically, this is the time of year we all discussing about what we're about to eat. We got the menu plans.

But the costs at the grocery store, they say, hold up. You need to be prepared. So how are you ladies adapting to the holiday season this year? Has your plan changed like mine has? What are you doing to work through, or at least start to think about this time of year differently?

Kevelyn (57:37)
Budget shopping. Starting early. No, no, seriously though. ⁓ No, that's real. ⁓ Yeah, it's not necessarily gonna be what it was last year, but you know, we gonna make it work.

Kiara (57:43)
coupon.

You're

What about you, Tanesha

Tanesha (58:02)
Yeah, I don't know because how my bank account is set up right, you gotta borrow from the other bank account but then borrow from the other bank account to put in that bank account and then still borrow from the other bank account to make it work.

Kiara (58:21)
a lot of borrowing from bank accounts. real. It's real.

Tanesha (58:23)
Yeah, yeah. I mean,

but this is also, think this would be my third year kind of celebrating Thanksgiving. But normally I work, so this would be the first year that I'm not working. So I'm not, you know, I don't know. I don't really know what to do when you don't normally celebrate in your trying.

Kiara (58:34)
Yeah.

Tanesha (58:52)
I don't got no family. I mean, I have family, I think ever since my grandmother passed, we don't have like a place like where like, yeah, we're gonna all go in. Cause we used to be like, oh, we go to grandma's and be like, all right, cool. Whatever, go to grandma's. Now grandma not here. So was like, we all do our own thing. So I don't really have nowhere else to like go just to be like, oh, I don't feel like cooking. I don't know what I'm doing.

Kiara (59:16)
You

Tanesha (59:17)
So, let me go over there. Let me bring you over here. So yeah. And with how the economy is going and how this shutdown is going, I don't know. I'm definitely one of those 1 % that has.

to do.

Kiara (59:40)
think you are the 1 % over there. I think that percentage has grown. But I do think...

Yeah, no, I think have you nailed on that coupons? I'm doing a lot of budget shopping. ⁓ I have not cooked a full Thanksgiving dinner and maybe five years on purpose. One year I even decided to do like Chinese food because I just did not want to do it. I did not want to cook. ⁓ That year did not go over as I planned it. And this year I found out my husband was working, but then he told me yesterday he's not working. And so I'm like,

So now I have to figure out, like I have no idea what I'm going to do except that I do not want to be cooking for 12 hours. Point blank period. What our plan used to be is that he would do the turkey because I don't do birds. I don't want to it. I don't want to clean it out. I don't want to cut it open. Like, no, I don't want none of that. I don't want to the guts.

Tanesha (1:00:39)
You don't want to your hand in there? Rip the tats out. Ugh.

Kiara (1:00:46)
Listen here, we're gonna get more into this at our midnight, confession holiday edition, but it does not go well. You do not want me, I am happy to do the turkey breast that I got from Aldi, you know, and I'll season that to within, you know, beauty. But do not ask me to go inside anybody's bird. I'm not doing it. And I do stuffing and I do vegetables. But what it sounds like is at least 12 hours. I didn't put it in there. That's not how I, he put it in there.

Tanesha (1:00:46)
Thank you.

But you realize that stuffing goes in the bird.

Kiara (1:01:16)
I've made it.

Tanesha (1:01:16)
Oh, I thought I said, you make

it like the, nevermind, I'm not saying what I was about to say. Go ahead.

Kiara (1:01:20)
Yeah,

I don't know what you were going with that, but I ain't doing it. I'm just telling you right now, it was a separate container. A separate container of something. So yeah, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna do. I know that things are financially tighter, so we have to be mindful.

But this is first year we have to do it again by ourselves. I really loved going to other people's houses because for many, many years, everyone came to my house and I just did not want that anymore. That work, that responsibility and that clean up. Also, Apollo's real, he out here, he will take a chicken leg and go.

to be an experience for sure at this household this year. ⁓ But yeah, I definitely not looking forward to it. But one of things I am looking forward to

I'm spending more time with you girls. I'm hoping that we can do another call, like we do our little family calls and get everybody on the phone with their kids and being like, what are you eating? That's fun. That's a fun call. Also, I love the recipe sharing. That's my favorite part usually. Like, how do you make dad's this? Or, you know, are you making pie this year? Also known as Kiara is just going to buy the pie and buy the filling and put it in the...

Which by the way works fantastically if you're out there and you don't want to bake a pie from scratch. But that is, I mean I feel like it's from scratch because you know I gotta roll out the dough. You know saying? I gotta add the apple filling. I'm gonna put my own special blend of cinnamon and nutmeg and such in there.

⁓ so yeah, like I feel like this from scratch. Y'all disagree? Y'all looking at me crazy. Isn't that from scratch? Trying to tell me I don't do that.

Kevelyn (1:03:19)
It is from scratch for you. There you go.

Kiara (1:03:21)
Thank you.

It is in fact from scratch for me.

Kevelyn (1:03:28)
There you go.

Kiara (1:03:29)
Cluck it.

But okay, but on the topic of scaling back, like I said, like typically we find our places like, it starts out small and then people trickle in. know, Kevin, you've had that experience. Like it's like, it's just gonna be us and then more people just show up. So how would you have the conversation this year about that? Like knowing that things are cut a little bit back and maybe you don't want anybody in your business. Maybe you don't want to tell them everything that's going on. But how would you try to have that conversation about

scaling back this year's Thanksgiving.

Kevelyn (1:04:06)
other than, listen, normally how this goes is you get the, are you cooking? Yeah. I don't know. That's typically how it's done.

Tanesha (1:04:06)
What?

Kiara (1:04:27)
It really seems like it was about to be super deep.

No!

Kevelyn (1:04:35)
No, seriously, that's normally how it goes. mean, I mean, we... Listen, are you cooking?

Kiara (1:04:38)
Are you fucking?

That's real. I'm gonna lie.

Tanesha (1:04:42)
Who's cooking? You cooking

or me cooking? You cooking. I think you cooking this year, not me.

Kevelyn (1:04:45)
Listen, that's what

I'm okay, I may, you know, we may do something, we may go out of town. You know what, we don't know yet.

Kiara (1:04:56)
Okay, so that's that's that's one tactic. Hey, I may not be here. That's one way to do it

Kevelyn (1:04:59)
Ehehehehe

Tanesha (1:05:01)
I may not even be here,

you know what saying? I may be, you know.

Kevelyn (1:05:03)
Listen,

plans change at the drop of a dime.

Tanesha (1:05:07)
You

Kiara (1:05:09)
They do. That's real. I think I might steal that one. Like, I don't know what we're planning. So hopefully my people don't listen to this. ⁓

Kevelyn (1:05:12)
I'm just doing it.

it's up in the air into the day before, you know, and

Tanesha (1:05:16)
the peace.

Kevelyn (1:05:20)
then figure it out. I said, no, it's up in the air typically into the day before, you know, because everybody always asks, are you?

Tanesha (1:05:21)
Wait, did you say it may be July 4th? What?

Kiara (1:05:24)
What?

Yeah.

Tanesha (1:05:31)
Oh, oh, okay.

Yo, I really thought you was like, you know, could be anything. could be, may not see each other July 4th. I was like.

Kiara (1:05:34)
That's true.

Kevelyn (1:05:38)
I mean, we may go here,

we may go there, we may cook, you know, we may stay and we don't know yet. Just saying.

Kiara (1:05:43)
Yeah, that's real.

I do feel like that's how our conversations used to go to it'd be like, what'd do it? don't know yet. Did we wait about a good week and we come back? What you doing?

Kevelyn (1:05:51)
No, for real, we really don't know,

Until we decide, like, a day or two prior and run to the store, because apparently we staying home.

Kiara (1:05:58)
Thank you.

Tanesha (1:06:01)
Ha ha!

Kiara (1:06:02)
That may be my story this year. I'm not even playing like I was like I feel as though a Part of me wants to do it again. I was like should we go to Eat out somewhere, but then I feel bad because you know you want that food back Like you'd be you want to eat that food And then you live with two teenagers like me and they eat it all and then you'd be mad I was saying so I don't know ⁓

Kevelyn (1:06:07)
you

Yeah.

story.

Kiara (1:06:27)
feel like

even when I went to your house, because I don't want to, I don't put it out there, like I just brought myself. I did not, I brought food, people. I didn't just bring us. I brought food, tasty food at that, and desserts and cookies, all the things, and we left with half of it on purpose.

Kevelyn (1:06:34)
Yes you did. Yes you did. You did. You did.

Tanesha (1:06:45)
I

bust that lake how you sat here and said you emphasize we I bought tasty things people taste

Kevelyn (1:06:47)
Yes.

Kiara (1:06:51)
did! Did I not bring tasty things? It's like, I was like, maybe.

Kevelyn (1:06:54)
She did.

Tanesha (1:06:55)
I didn't say, I wasn't saying it in a bad way. was just saying how

Kevelyn (1:06:57)
And then

Tanesha (1:06:58)
you

Kevelyn (1:06:58)
they did leave it after food.

Tanesha (1:06:58)
were saying it. You were just like, you were just.

Kiara (1:07:01)
I was gonna

say, and indeed we did. It just like we ate half that food and we was like, transfer, you will take this left and this, I'm gonna take this half. And it was great. It was great. Everybody left happy and full. So I just wanna emphasize that, cause I know it probably sounded like I just go and I don't cook, but that's not true. do cook. But it is, and now it feels like it will not be a team effort this year. And so I'm over here like, this is just a sad situation.

Kevelyn (1:07:08)
or split it. It was good.

Thanks.

It's a team effort.

you

I don't know. Trust me.

Kiara (1:07:32)
We're gonna have to figure it out.

it is definitely a change this year.

I know, like, one of things I did want to bring up too is because, like, typically, you know, we get this big bird and then, like, again, I don't touch it. But then I get, the stuffing and I get the vegetables and I get all the containers and...

Tanesha (1:07:49)
Why are you talking about it like

that? Why are you talking about it like that? So we typically get a big bird. Like girl, it's not a big bird, it's just a turkey.

Kiara (1:07:53)
I'm not doing it.

We do, I'm not.

What if it's not a turkey? Sometimes we have chicken.

Tanesha (1:08:04)
and it's big, like huge.

Kiara (1:08:07)
Now, let's talk about checkers.

Tanesha (1:08:09)
⁓ okay, was just saying, you just said it was like a big, anyway, let me stop.

Kiara (1:08:11)
You know what, anyway, the point is,

the point of all of that is to say clearly some changes are afoot this year. And there are some interesting things that you can do about it. So if you have to do a low cost Thanksgiving, what are some tips we can give people that we may be doing this year? Besides coupons, because that is the first thing I am doing, but.

Tanesha (1:08:35)
Well, I mean,

right now, you know, they got specials happening. You got all these doing a four-year, you know, eat for $40. You got, I think, BJs? No, Walmart, somebody. They got another one that's like, you know, depending on how many people you're trying to feed, depending on how many people you're trying to feed, they have different sizes fits all. I think the most expensive one, I think, was Sam's Club for $100. But you were trying to feed 10 people or 15. I don't know. Maybe it could be more than that.

Kiara (1:08:47)
I think that stands club.

Well, Sam's Club food is kind of

good. I'm not gonna lie, y'all. I've been buying some of their food.

Tanesha (1:09:05)
But what I'm saying is

those are like, you have those alternatives. I think somebody was doing like $25, but it was feeding like three people, four people. I think that was Walmart. But I'm saying, you never know, because everyone has different sizes, right? As we're talking about the different dynamics that are happening, right? What would have been, what happened a year ago, or two years ago, or five years ago, is definitely not happening this year. Or whatever happened.

Kiara (1:09:15)
that's not gonna work.

So scaling down,

certainly.

Tanesha (1:09:32)
scaling down or maybe you're not scaling down. Maybe you're going to be the one that is feeding everybody because you are blessed that way. And they got packages for you too. I'm just saying. But I would tell you to go to, I would, mean, I would say if they got a Walmart, not a Walmart, if you know, also too shop early, don't, don't do the last minute things because you know, everything going to be more expensive.

Kiara (1:09:44)
you

Even though we just discuss how

we do that often. Don't be us. Be at the store early.

Kevelyn (1:09:57)
I know. Don't do that. Don't do

Tanesha (1:10:00)
Yeah,

Kevelyn (1:10:00)
that.

Tanesha (1:10:01)
don't do that. Don't be us. Be early.

Kiara (1:10:03)
Beerly. Also make

more, like one of things I've learned is maybe make some adjustments, maybe get some more canned items, not necessarily flash frozen. Look for those kind of deals. ⁓ Just the state of the world, canned is not bad. ⁓ And then ⁓ they even had like, y'all, I discovered a thing with, so I found there was like meat in a like,

can and when it popped out it was like a full meat like breast for instance like you know we have salmon my house and so I went to buy salmon I know but I'm well aware listen here I'm about to tell you listen here lean in okay so

Tanesha (1:10:42)
I just want you to be aware that you see both of us looking at you weird, right? I just want you to be clear that we're both looking at you like what you talking about, cause that sounds crazy.

Kiara (1:10:59)
There was a, if you're watching this, then you can understand why I'm cracking up. That's crazy. So in the can, there was a salmon. So like I said, we buy salmon, because I like to make salmon patties and stuff like that, right? So I open the salmon thinking it'll just be kind of like grounded up kind of like salmon pieces. Ma'am, when I opened this can, an entire breast of salmon fell out.

like an entire ginormous breast of salmon. And I just sat there looking at it in utter confusion. I was like, is this a thing? Like, I didn't know you stuffed like the salmon in the can. I didn't even know that was a thing. So when I was at Walmart or another local store, I don't remember, it could have been Harris Dever. And I literally looked into the meat aisle. I was like, there are so many options available for canned meats too. So listen, you might get real creative about how we, you know.

supplement different things because I do like to make salmon patties and I think that's like a I don't know what I'm added maybe some salmon and some rice and some peas and that is another option for Thanksgiving but what are some other Thanksgiving foods that you guys stop looking at me crazy I like to make all sorts of stuff I do pasta okay

Tanesha (1:12:14)
That just sounded even more weird. I just...

Kiara (1:12:17)
That's because you ain't had my family.

Kevelyn (1:12:22)
I've seen it to where you turkey wings instead of a whole turkey.

Kiara (1:12:28)
That's an option.

Kevelyn (1:12:30)
if you like that sort of thing.

Kiara (1:12:33)
Like I said, we did turkey breasts, which, you know, because again, I don't do the whole, I ain't doing the whole thing. So turkey breasts, like that came out, that was appropriately priced, it was affordable and it was easy. And, you know, we didn't have this instance that we'll share with you later about waiting too late to put the turkey in the oven. Because that happens to me, but we're not going to get into that at this time.

Kevelyn (1:12:37)
Nope.

Tanesha (1:12:54)
You mean waiting

too late or not? ⁓ okay. Got it, got it, sorry. My brain was gonna say something wrong. It is, it is.

Kiara (1:13:01)
Is the sugar wearing off? Is that what's happening? Okay, that's cool, cool,

Felt like it, felt like it. But also, like you said, like getting creative, like definitely.

I started buying like cream of...

Cheese soup? I never used that before in my life. I usually just use milk and cheese and just kinda knitted it out. But whatever's more affordable for you, whatever you can do to keep your flavors and still make it delicious for your family, I recommend. But listen, shop early, go to multiple stores, check the newspaper, you know that thing that actually got picked up and read and take the circulars out of there? That's your friend.

and also digital coupons. Make sure you go to your stores and check out your store's website and make sure you have that shopper's card because that is also your friend. It's gonna help you make much more affordable and happy choices. So with that...

I think we can wrap things up because seriously?

Y'all doing the most, especially the one who's on the sugar high. Like that's crazy. We had a lot to reflect on today. I know we spent a good portion of our time diving into education and you know, we were a little brief on our holidays, but there's good reason for that because like I said, we have an entire midnight confessions dedicated to holiday fail, I mean learnings.

Kevelyn (1:14:14)
This was good.

Kiara (1:14:36)
and stories that is coming your way at the end of the month and then you get to hear all about the things that I do not want to tell you just yet without Truth Now. And with that, we want to remind you that you can follow us on YouTube.

Tanesha (1:14:52)
You guys can listen to us on iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Amazon Audible, YouTube Music, on Pocket Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, and Spotify.

Kiara (1:15:08)
Thank you. You can also follow us.

Tanesha (1:15:09)
Also, you

can follow us individually. Well, except for Kevelyn you can follow us individually. Tanisha underscore mama pod at tick tock and Instagram, Kiara at Kiara mama pod on Instagram and Facebook and content vixen on Twitter or X and check us out on our website at www.main event mamas podcast.com.

where you can leave us a voice note.

to be a part of our show, read our blogs, or go buy some merch. That should be your holiday spirit. Blessed one.

Kiara (1:15:55)
That's Bless somebody with their mama gear. Not a lie. We have some awesome stuff. We'll have some stuff coming out, some videos where you can see some of our gear because I have some ideas for some new gear that's coming because there's stuff more coming your way pretty soon. Now that I have time on my hands, I just, know, creative juices, I gotta get out somewhere. And with that, we also want to remind you that you can join our

communities on Patreon.

where you get exclusive behind the scenes footage which will be maybe where you find that thing that may be missing that you don't know it's missing right now because I'm gonna cut it out and only put it for our Patreon audience. Or you can get our exclusive previews of some of these pay-per-views and our pics that are gonna be on Patreon as well. And yes, you can join for free because there's also wonderful free benefits as well. You can also join our Facebook squad.

where we like to give previews of Monday Night Raw and of course lots of tea that we hear about on the day before or after and we like to ask you questions and join there as well as a community for that and with that

we're not new to this.

Tanesha (1:17:07)
We're so true to this. And this was Main Event Mamas.

Kiara (1:17:11)
Woof