When Was the Last Time You Experienced a Setback?

Was it when you didn't land that job you had your heart set on? Or maybe a personal project didn't pan out as planned? For many of us, setbacks can feel like the end of the road—a sign to throw in the towel and move on. But what if failure isn't the opposite of success? What if, instead, it's an essential stepping stone on the path toward it?

In the latest episode of the Main Event Mamas podcast, we dove headfirst into the topic of failure—an experience so many of us fear but one that is an inevitable part of life. Through raw and honest conversations, we reflected on our own struggles, including a recent job rejection, the emotional toll of a divorce, and even a personal health crisis that hindered our ability to manage day-to-day life. What we discovered is that some of life's most important lessons often arise from our greatest challenges.

The Problem with a Perfectionist Mindset

Many of us grow up hearing mantras like "failure is not an option" and "excellence is the only solution." While well-intentioned, these beliefs can foster a crippling fear of failure and instill a deep-seated pressure to be perfect. Over time, this mindset causes us to hesitate in embracing new challenges, paralyzing our ability to take risks and learn from our mistakes.

We'll admit: we've been there. The fear of not measuring up almost kept us from starting this podcast in the first place. Holding ourselves to impossible standards created unnecessary stress and self-doubt. But perfection isn't the goal—progress is.

Redefining Failure: A New Perspective

Here's a game-changing realization we unearthed during our podcast discussion: you are not a failure because something you tried didn't work out.

This seemingly simple shift in mindset can be transformative. It separates your self-worth from the outcome, allowing you to see failure for what it truly is: a chance to grow.

Instead of asking yourself, "Why did I fail?" try reframing the question to, "What did I learn from this?" Failure isn't the final chapter; it's a pivot point that helps you recalibrate. Career setbacks, fractured relationships, or projects gone awry—all of these moments carry invaluable lessons that shape us for the future.

How to Cultivate a Growth Mindset

If failure is unavoidable, how can we shift our relationship with it? Here are a few practical strategies we've embraced and shared:

Celebrate Your Effort:

Instead of focusing solely on outcomes, recognize the effort you put in. Tanesha, one of our hosts, often asks her kids, "Did you really try?" This approach keeps the emphasis on persistence and growth rather than perfection.

Give Yourself Grace:

As Kevelyn mentioned during the episode, it's important to extend kindness to yourself when things don't work out. Self-compassion quiets the negative inner voice and helps you bounce back stronger.

Find the Lesson:

After a setback, take the time to reflect on what went wrong and adjust your approach for next time. As Kiara always says, "You either succeed, or you learn."

Know Your Limits:

Recognizing when to ask for help—or when to let go entirely—isn't a sign of weakness. It's a mark of wisdom. Sometimes, it's okay to acknowledge that you can't do everything on your own.

Failure as a Stepping Stone

Failure, while uncomfortable, is an essential part of life. It need not define who you are. With the right mindset, every misstep becomes an opportunity to improve and evolve.

When we, as parents or role models, practice a growth mindset, we also teach our children the same lesson: setbacks aren't roadblocks; they're stepping stones toward resilience, wisdom, and strength.

So, the next time you face a challenge that doesn't go as planned, remember this: failure doesn't mean it's the end of your journey. It's simply a new beginning.