Bullies Beware: Mama Wisdom for Handling Drama Like a Pro

Bullying. It's a word that immediately brings to mind schoolyard standoffs and playground drama, doesn't it? As parents, we often hope (fervently, in fact) that this particular chapter ends when our kids grow up. We tell ourselves that adults don't have to worry about "bullies." The painful truth, though? Bullying doesn't have an expiration date.

Episode 29 of Main Event Mamas opened that very door—one that many of us would like to leave shut. And honestly? It was a conversation that every parent and adult could relate to on some level. Because what we wish wasn't true, sadly is: the tactics might evolve from the sandbox to the suburbs, but the scars bullying leaves behind can linger far longer than we'd care to admit.

Mama Bear Activation: Standing Up for Our Kids

Let's be real—there's nothing quite like discovering that your child is being bullied. The instant emotional cocktail of anger, helplessness, and sadness feels like a gut-punch to your system. We've all been there, haven't we? That immediate "mama bear" roar bubbles to the surface, instinctively begging you to act. But how you act can make all the difference.

In this episode, Tanesha shared a moment that a lot of parents can connect with. Her daughter was teased for (get this!) not wearing makeup. Tanesha could have stormed into the school, shot off snarky emails, or fired off angry texts at the parents of the offenders. But instead, she took the high road. She used this moment to teach her daughter about self-worth and remind her that makeup and the opinions of others should enhance, not define, your beauty.

I'll admit, I felt that deeply. I shared my own story about my son being repeatedly bullied at summer camp. One day, the emotional toll became too much—and he snapped, retaliating against his tormentor. Was it the right thing to do? No. Two wrongs don't make a right, but it was a pivotal moment for me as a parent. It reminded me of just how heavy the weight of bullying can be on kiddos, especially when they feel like no one is stepping in to help.

Which begs the question: When should we parents intervene?

Tanesha had great advice on this one. If bullying becomes persistent or turns physical, it's time to involve the school. But here's the thing—proactivity and open communication with teachers, counselors, and administrators can sometimes head off bigger issues before they escalate.

And for parents of older kids like me? I'm finding that my role has shifted. For instance, I recently gave my high-school-aged daughter a "script" to help her navigate a tense situation. Teaching her how to advocate for herself and set boundaries was empowering, both for her as a young woman and for me as a parent watching her grow.

Adult Bullies: They're Real

Here's something we don't talk about enough: bullying doesn't always stop after graduation. That was one of the tougher truths Tanesha and I wrestled with during this episode. Adults bully, too. Sometimes, it's as overt as mean girls in the PTA cutting you out of meetings; other times, it's as subtle (and soul-crushing) as gossip, exclusion, and passive-aggressive digs.

Tanesha opened up about bullying in her marriage, where constant fat-shaming and criticism chipped away at her self-esteem. I could hear the emotion in her voice, and my heart broke for her. But I also admired her resilience in sharing it. She also recounted her own experience being labeled a "bully" herself at work. It wasn't intentional, just a case of her blunt honesty being misinterpreted. It's a fine line, and adults need to tread it carefully.

On a personal note, my very first job out of college came with its own bully—my boss's wife. She didn't like me, plain and simple, and her disdain manifested as passive-aggressive comments and thinly veiled insults. My response? Tears. Lots of them. And eventually, I just quit. Looking back, I wish I'd had the courage to go to HR or advocate for myself. But when you're young and navigating a power imbalance, it's hard to see those options clearly.

Leading with Kindness

If there's one overarching theme I took from this episode, it's that kindness matters. Whether you're standing up for your child or facing your own personal bully (hello, workplace drama), your self-worth is everything. When you're grounded in your value, the words and actions of others lose their power to diminish you.

Still, remember this: you don't have to go it alone. If you're dealing with bullying as an adult, lean on your support system. At work, reach out to HR or trusted mentors. And if you find yourself in toxic social spaces, don't hesitate to draw boundaries or walk away completely.

Tanesha and I both agreed that authenticity is the ultimate defense against bullying, no matter your age. Be unapologetically you. When you own your story, no one can use it against you.

As we closed out this episode, one thing echoed in my mind: we all have the power to choose kindness. Whether it's a small compliment to boost someone's day or stepping in to defend someone who needs support, every little act adds up. Let's raise our kids to be stronger, kinder, and more confident so they can break the cycle of bullying and maybe, just maybe, pave the way for a world where kindness is the norm, not the exception.

So, Main Event Mamas Tribe, let's take the "playground rules" into adulthood: Build people up. Don't tear them down because life is too short for anything less.